Assessment.......

[sony]

Hi everyone,

How are you all? I have written before but not for a while! I've just been reading the messages, I haven't felt the need to post since most people are going through the same things as us, so no point asking similar questions!

Anyway, my Granny is the one with Alzheimers, the specialists reckon she is in an advanced state, however, she's still keeping us on our toes!! Although recently she's been very hard to get out of bed, I think she's depressed, she keeps saying there's no point getting up, I think she would stay in bed forever if she got away with it.....it's so sad to see.

Now, my Granda started showing signs of forgetfulness, etc a while ago and was referred for assessment - the appointment has only come through now. The specialist wants to see both my Granny and Granda next Monday morning! My granda was in hospital a few years ago and they just happened to ask him a few memory related questions and he totally lost it! So, our worry now is that he'll go the same way next Monday or even worse jepordise the relationship between my Mum (their carer) and my Granda.

So, we're just wondering what your advice would be.......go for the assessment and suffer the consequences or just let him carry on? He's 84 years old and very active, it's just occasionaly forgetfulness - no where near as bad as my granny.

Thanks again for all your help, talk to you's soon hopefully.

Love
Sony
xx

 

[Lynne]

Hi Sony

This is just an opinion (rather than advice backed up by any experience) but I would say take both Granny & Granda to the specialist next week as requested. It's no good hiding problems away at home, you can't expect the doctors etc. to be able to make a fully informed assessment if they only know half the picture.
Whilst your Granda may have less bad memory problems than his wife, if he has a tendency to fly off the handle that may be due his own depression, a misplaced feeling of shame if his memory does let him down, or some other cause. I expect that the specialist will also ask your Mum (or whoever is there from the family) how things are, and again I would think it important to be totally honest, especially about Granny's lethargy & depression. This is something they may be able to do something about, given the chance.

Best wishes

 

[sony]

Hi Lynne,

Thanks for getting back to me about this. I know what you say is right, and I know we should get things checked out but it's just knowing how he'll react thats scaring us! My Mum has 5 brothers and 1 sister and none of them do anything to help her, but she's going to try and get at least one of them to go to the appointment with her, to back her up and help her (hopefully!)

My Mum went down to my Granny's house last night at about 5.30pm and my Granny was in bed (my granda was in town in the pub - he goes for a few hours 2/3times a week), my Mum told me that my granny had been crying and that she started crying again when my Mum came in. My granny said she was upset because her parents had went away and left her! Mum tried to calm her by saying "are you upset that Joe (her husband) went to the pub?" and my granny said "No, I'm more upset that Mummy went to the pub"!! Her mother would've been the kind of person who never stepped inside a pub! My granny had also soiled herself, which is a regular occurance these days. My granny then asked my Mum to take her to the lake so she could throw herself in........she's very depressed, do you think this is a symptom of the alzheimers considering she's already on quite a high does of anti-depressant? Mum's going to take her to her own GP this afternoon just incase.

My Granny often talks about her Mother being alive and my grandad gets quite frustrated about this, often saying "How many times do I have to tell you that your mother is dead!", he doesn't understand what's going on with her, thus this makes her even more upset. We just don't know what to do with them anymore. Thanks for your help,

Sony