1. judyjudy

    judyjudy Registered User

    Mar 19, 2008
    west sussex
    She had her assessment today and the result...she is now diagnosed as EMI and it is considered that she is no longer safe at home on her own - nursing homes here we come. Case conference organised for next week to decide where we go from here. It is a very sad day for her (not that she is aware of it yet)and a very sad day for me. Judy
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Dear Judy, yes it must seem a very sad day for both of you.
    Please try to find the positive in the situation. She will be safe and cared for 24/7. You can spend quality time together.

    Never ideal, but sometimes we just have to accept that we need more help.

    Please let us know how the nursing home hunt goes.
    I am so sorry.
  3. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    West Yorkshire
    Dear Judy
    I was saddened to hear the news about mum. I remember when I heard similar news about Dad, its devastating. Stay strong and keep posting.
    take care
  4. heartbroken

    heartbroken Registered User

    Feb 17, 2008
    so sorry
    you must be relived that she has been assessed but sad at the outcome.
    hope thing go well with the hunt for a good home.
    take care
  5. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    Dear Judy,

    It is awful to be told (or realise) that one's loved one is no longer safe at home, but please, please be relieved that she will now be looked after constantly and you will worry no more about what might happen.

    The day I took my parents into their care home I had breakfast with them before their left their home they had been in for 40 years. The bread in the toaster was a bit slow for Mum's liking so she got a knife to prise the toast out, fortunately I stopped her in time! If I ever have any doubts about whether I did the right thing, I always think of the "toaster incident". Maybe there has been something in your life you can recall if you ever have any doubts.

    Good luck, I hope you find somewhere nice for her.
  6. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    West Yorkshire
    #6 hendy, Mar 26, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2008
    Dear Judy
    I've just realised on my thread there is some very useful advice from Tina things to look out for when looking for a home. Some of it might not all be relevant, but extremely useful none the less. I've used Tina's checklist, just in the last few days. Here's the link
    take care

    ps here's another link to an info pack about choosing a home. Check it out when you feel ready.
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Judy,
    I understand how sad a day it is for you and for your mother, but if you find a good home, the day she is admitted, I sincerely hope you have the feeling of rellief I felt, when I realizd my mother would no longer be at risk.
    Take care xx
  8. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Judy

    It is sad to be told that 24-hour care is necessary. I was devastated when I was told.

    But now, six months on, I know it was the right decision. John receives far better care than I could possibly give him on my own, and I really enjoy my visits to the home.

    Take your time in finding the right home, you'll know it when you see it.

    Good luck,
  9. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    Dear Judy

    Mum was in hospital when we received the news that she needed nursing care. We had suspected it but it was sad to see her never to return to her own home. At the same time though the sense of relief at losing the day to day worry about was she OK, had she done anythign silly, etc. was huge.

    It is a time of such mixed emotions. But once she settled into her care home life was much better and we were able to do enjoyable things, go out for lunch, shopping, just watch TV together as we had done in the past. I could leave knowing that she was in safe hands.

    Mostly the guilt disappears.


  10. Carolynlott

    Carolynlott Registered User

    Jan 1, 2007
    Newcastle upon Tyne
    Dear Judy,
    So sorry you've reached this stage in this horrible process. Tomnorrow my Mum is getting the results of the scans she had months ago - her official diagnosis (only had it verbally so far - if I hadn't badgered them I don't think we'd ever have heard from them again). She is still just about able to live alone, but for us it's the start of - well whatever comes next. Maybe she will be prescribed something - I think my Dad was at this stage.
    Best wishes,
  11. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    My mum still hankers after her home, now sold to pay for her care (what a financial mistake!). She knows it has been sold. To a lovely young couple just like she and my dad were when they bought it. My dad would be delighted it had been sold to such a couple. And I believe my dad knew both their fathers. She constantly says she is going to find somewhere else to live cos she can't stand any more in the home. I cry, boy do I cry!

    We do a lot of crying with this illness.



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