1. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    757
    Male
    Newcastle
    ... another one opens. Last year my wife was subject to a Deprivation of Liberty Safeguarding order (DoLS) in respect of her time at the respite centre that we used a few times. I was happy to be appointed her Personal Representative. This week I received a letter to say that my role is now ended as she will not be going to the respite centre again. The next day I received more paperwork establishing a new DoLS in respect of the residential home in which she now resides. Once again I have agreed to be her Personal Representative.

    I view this as a positive step forward. My wife is unable to understand her care and accommodation needs. The DoLS authorisation enables her to receive the 24 hour care that she requires in her care home, under continuous supervision, which has been deemed the least restrictive option and in her best interests.

    As before, the paperwork makes for interesting if unedifying reading, confirming the professional view of her limited capabilities and stating clearly that the residential care arrangements are essential and appropriate. It is not something that brings me joy, but at least confirms that my decision to procure residential care for my wife is supported.
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,793
    Female
    Scotland
    Yes, I have a copy of a letter sent by John's psychiatrist to social work to say that he is not capable of deciding where he should live. Although I entirely agree and it made arranging respite easy it looks harsh in black and white.

    John was a skilled tradesman as well as a deep thinker who loved learning foreign languages - not all that common on your average building site! It is all lost. Well nearly all lost. This morning when I was showing him where to park his walker before coming downstairs he said, "Comme ça?"
    He used to speak to me on a daily basis with bits and pieces of German and French and I thought that had disappeared but little bits are obviously still there.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,384
    Kent
    We all need that bit of reassurance @northumbrian_k

    It makes me wonder why so many suffer guilt when they accept residential care.

    Caring for someone with dementia is not a one person job in the later stages and respect to those who manage to keep their people with dementia at home until the end. Those of us who accept the need for residential care make one of the most difficult decisions of our lives and it`s such a relief when it turns out well and agreed by all disciplines.
     
  4. Susan11

    Susan11 Registered User

    Nov 18, 2018
    1,483
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,271
    Female
    South coast
    I had a letter like that about my mum too. It is a bittersweet moment.
    It is a validation that you have made the right decision, but heartbreaking to see that they have progressed so much


    PS I love the quirky titles to your threads.
     
  6. Banjomansmate

    Banjomansmate Registered User

    Jan 13, 2019
    1,088
    Female
    Dorset
    I haven’t had anything like that for The Banjoman and as far as I am aware there is one in place for him at the Care home.
    He fell and broke his hip on Friday and is currently in hospital waiting for an operation, does the Care home have to apply for another DoL once he returns to them or does it just continue for the year or whenever it is due for review/renewal?
     
  7. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    18,929
    Male
    North Manchester
    Don't think so.
    It's a deprivation of liberty in a defined situation.
    Why worry it's the care home's problem?
     
  8. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    757
    Male
    Newcastle
    I'm sorry to hear about the Banjoman @Banjomansmate and hope he gets an operation and time to recover soon. My understanding is that a DoLS is usually granted for a fixed period (52 weeks), renewable as necessary, and is specific to one named premises. It doesn't necessarily imply residence at all times - my wife had a DoLS in place to cover short periods of respite, for example - and will remain in place unless and until it is cancelled for a specific reason.
     
  9. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    441
    My mother is in the middle of a DOLs assessment. She told me someone had been to see her to ask about her being in her care home. I was worried that she'd be very convincing about how she can manage at home, and that she'd be allowed to leave. From what she told me, she told them she is in the home as her mum (dead these forty plus years) was having problems keeping the house tidy.
     
  10. Banjomansmate

    Banjomansmate Registered User

    Jan 13, 2019
    1,088
    Female
    Dorset
    Thank you K, seeing your post just made me think about it.
    He was a walking skeleton and deteriorating mentally before this and I doubt if he will be eating much in hospital so I wonder about his recovery after an operation. Although drugged up yesterday and completely unintelligible I think at one point he knew me. I phoned today and they said he wasn’t so restless so that is something.
     
  11. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    757
    Male
    Newcastle
    My wife told the social worker that she worked at the care home @Sarasa. Evidence taken from the care home staff and assessment by a doctor showed that she did not really understand what was going on and is disorientated in time, place and person. By the time a DoLS is necessary it seems unlikely that a person with dementia can outwit or fool the assessors.
     

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