I apologise before I start for what is essentially venting my feelings of frustration and having a moan. First it was arranging dates for Mum's funeral and getting people to finally agree on a suitable time and date. They do have demanding work commitments and have to travel abroad but in the end I had to set an ultimatum to get them to come to an agreement as it was as if no-one wanted to give way. The next issue I am afraid leaves me speechless. Step-father struggles to arrange anything and does not like large family gatherings. He had not arranged a wake so I suggested that everyone who wishes goes to a local pub that is open for food all day and has a good range of meals and snacks. As it is late afternoon most people would only want a light bite and the landlady said they could accommodate a large group dropping in at short notice on the day. It seems this is not good enough for some who are very unhappy that a buffet had not been arranged and that step-father at first seemed reluctant to pay for it, but probably will. I don't live in the area, but suggested that the person complaining come to an arrangement with step-father and find out how many people want a buffet (it won't be everyone) and contact the pub. Not much to ask, but there is a complete back down by the person and a refusal to discuss it with step-father saying they would only argue. Is it just me that thinks people shouldn't necessarily expect the surviving spouse to pay for their food after the funeral. I thought the idea of a funeral was to remember the deceased and pay your respects, not get a free meal. If close relatives haven't gone through enough anguish having a loved one with dementia without this. I am afraid certain people have gone down in my estimation which is a pity.