Hello
I have not posted since January of this year when I was looking into care homes for my mother as my father had decided he was unable to care for her much longer. She is 65 and he is 70 in 3 weeks. He's been caring for her for 7 years, when she started with symptoms of Alzheimers. She still knows us and others but is unable to look after herself at all, is now doubly incontinent and in nappies. Dad kept changing his mind up until July when my sister (who is due to have her first baby in 2 weeks) and I said enough was enough, his health was starting to suffer. Since July I have been negotiating with social services on the funding for care homes. Both my sister and I live in London, my parents in Yorkshire, so I am trying to go back every other weekend to give him respite and am starting to get exhausted myself, as I travel with my job most weeks. I would appreciate any advice or info around the dilemma of funding.
The care homes my Dad has been given as an option in the local area are all around £650 a week. There are only really 3 at that price, the rest are higher. Of those 3, 2 are full. Social services have offered to fund £373 a week leaving a top up amount that would leave Dad in a few hundred pounds debt a month, as he is on a pension. He is very anxious about this, it is causing him almost as much distress as caring for Mum. Social services have said they will review this but Dad is convinced they will only offer a little more, still leaving him with a few hundred pounds a month to find. I will contribute also but have very little left at the end of the month as it is. Is this what has to happen when you can no longer care for your parent? do we have to send her to a home in another town in order not to pay this much? is it normal to have to get into debt to do this? We know half of the house will be taken, but they can't take that until after Dad dies apparently?
Any advice would be great, I fear for Dad's health greatly and need to resolve this for him as soon as possible. Dealing with Mum going into care is an emotional area I haven't allowed to go into yet, I can't do that until this is sorted.
With best wishes to you all dealing with this tragic illness.
Carla
I have not posted since January of this year when I was looking into care homes for my mother as my father had decided he was unable to care for her much longer. She is 65 and he is 70 in 3 weeks. He's been caring for her for 7 years, when she started with symptoms of Alzheimers. She still knows us and others but is unable to look after herself at all, is now doubly incontinent and in nappies. Dad kept changing his mind up until July when my sister (who is due to have her first baby in 2 weeks) and I said enough was enough, his health was starting to suffer. Since July I have been negotiating with social services on the funding for care homes. Both my sister and I live in London, my parents in Yorkshire, so I am trying to go back every other weekend to give him respite and am starting to get exhausted myself, as I travel with my job most weeks. I would appreciate any advice or info around the dilemma of funding.
The care homes my Dad has been given as an option in the local area are all around £650 a week. There are only really 3 at that price, the rest are higher. Of those 3, 2 are full. Social services have offered to fund £373 a week leaving a top up amount that would leave Dad in a few hundred pounds debt a month, as he is on a pension. He is very anxious about this, it is causing him almost as much distress as caring for Mum. Social services have said they will review this but Dad is convinced they will only offer a little more, still leaving him with a few hundred pounds a month to find. I will contribute also but have very little left at the end of the month as it is. Is this what has to happen when you can no longer care for your parent? do we have to send her to a home in another town in order not to pay this much? is it normal to have to get into debt to do this? We know half of the house will be taken, but they can't take that until after Dad dies apparently?
Any advice would be great, I fear for Dad's health greatly and need to resolve this for him as soon as possible. Dealing with Mum going into care is an emotional area I haven't allowed to go into yet, I can't do that until this is sorted.
With best wishes to you all dealing with this tragic illness.
Carla