Are we entitled to help

[Sueperzoom]

My dad has dementia. Mum was struggling to look after him so my husband and I extended our house and they moved in with us. We are now in a situation where here we could do with some help from an external carer. Dad often refuses to get out of bed meaning either my mum or me needs to be there to look after him. My husband doesn't feel comfortable being solely responsible for my dad. This means that my mum and I are never able to spend any time together outside of the home. I can't take her out shopping or for a meal etc. We have no other family nearby and a lot of her friends have sadly died so she is feeling very isolated.

My question is, if we ask social services to help, will my own and my husbands income be taken in to account for any means testing? On paper we probably look well off but we have two teenage boys and don't want to risk our financial future, we have already hugely impacted our finances by remortgaging the house so we could afford to extend to make room for my parents.

Thank you in advance for any help.

 

[Belle France]

My dad has dementia. Mum was struggling to look after him so my husband and I extended our house and they moved in with us. We are now in a situation where here we could do with some help from an external carer. Dad often refuses to get out of bed meaning either my mum or me needs to be there to look after him. My husband doesn't feel comfortable being solely responsible for my dad. This means that my mum and I are never able to spend any time together outside of the home. I can't take her out shopping or for a meal etc. We have no other family nearby and a lot of her friends have sadly died so she is feeling very isolated.

My question is, if we ask social services to help, will my own and my husbands income be taken in to account for any means testing? On paper we probably look well off but we have two teenage boys and don't want to risk our financial future, we have already hugely impacted our finances by remortgaging the house so we could afford to extend to make room for my parents.

Thank you in advance for any help.

Hello Superzoom.
Sorry to hear this, I'm sure it's an issue affecting many families.
Firstly, when seeking help from sources please don't accept COVID-19 as an "explanation" (excuse) for slow to respond services, or help not being available. Don't be fobbed off with "we only offer an email service." Try really hard to speak (you may need to be pushy) with somebody, get a name, date and time and make notes of the conversations you have, you may need to refer to them at a later point.
May I suggest that you seek advice from your local Citizens Advice Bureau, they may have somebody who can help with this question and who can look to see if you or your parents are entitled to any financial help.
Have you spoken with AGE UK?
Have you had a Carer's Assessment?
Is there a local branch of Carer's UK or the Carer's Trust that you can approach?
Have you asked your GP for a referral to Social Services for assessment of your father's needs?
Good luck!

 

[MartinWL]

On the question of who pays for carers, only your father's finances will be considered. Your money is not involved. If your mother and father jointly own any assets e.g. a house they no longer live in, half that value will be taken into account.

If he ( not they) has more than a bit over £23000 in savings or assets he must pay for his own care. If not you need to approach the local authority to assess the need. I hope someone has POA for both parents, if not that's important to work on.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Sueperzoom
a warm welcome to DTP

yes your dad is entitled to an assessment of his care needs from his Local Authority Adult Services ... you can contact them yourselves, you don't have to have a GP referral, though that may help ... and then a financial assessment will be conducted on HIS assets only ie his income, savings, investments and half any shared savings etc

Paying for dementia care in England

Dementia care isn't free, and you may need to pay for some of the care you or someone you know needs. We help you understand the different ways to pay for care, and the amount you might be expected to pay.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

your mum's finances are not taken into account and definitely not yours ... your mum is entitled to a carer's assessment too

from the assessment, a care package will be suggested eg home care visits, day car, respite

if your dad's income etc is such that he will be self-funding, you can go ahead and organise whatever care you think he needs ... though also arrange the care needs assessment to get your dad 'on the books' of the LA

this may help

Find support near you

Use our dementia directory to find local support services for people with dementia and their carers in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

check Attendance Allowance, which is not means tested

Attendance Allowance

Attendance Allowance helps pay for your personal care if you've reached State Pension age and are disabled - rates, eligibility, apply, claim form AA1.

www.gov.uk

if LPAs aren't yet in place, look into these asap, for both parents

Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney

How to make a lasting power of attorney (LPA): starting an application online, choosing an attorney, certifying a copy, changing an LPA.

www.gov.uk

 

[Sueperzoom]

Thank you all so much. Some brilliant advice and you have taken a worry away from me. Thank you. X