Hi folks
Had docs appointment this morning but the important issues first. Poor mum has lost her speech again. I was greeted by that gorgeous smile, as were staff popping in and out but, bless her, she was unable to communicate verbally. Strange how her speech comes and goes. So it was a visit of holding hands, kisses, cuddles. There is honestly a palpable feeling of love between us. I'm certain she understands that I know she's struggling and that it's OK to just be together with her drifting in and out of sleep. And that smile appears when her eyes are closed so I hope she's having happy memories or perhaps my dad is around giving her support and telling those silly jokes he used to! He had a tremendous sense of humour. Who knows? There appears to be no distress and I'm focussing on that. Boy, is she thirsty though! Coffee disappeared very quickly as did two tumblers of juice. Good that she's taking on fluids so well at the moment.
Well I have a bit of a health worry at the moment. It's a molehill as opposed to a mountain but here goes. I was diagnosed with an ectopic heartbeat years ago and told nothing serious, just have to live with which I have (er, obviously or I wouldn't be doing this!
). However, since Xmas the missed beats etc have gotten worse and have been daily and ongoing accompanied by dizziness and a throbbing head. Also I've been having very brief blackouts. No warning - I just suddenly hit the deck, take a few seconds to get myself together and I'm OKOK again. Well yesterday it happened when Bess and I were headed to the park. She must have thought Auntie Jan was playing a new game i thought, but when we got to the park she would not leave my side & wasnt interested in running after and fetching her ball. So we sat on the grass and had a "bit of love" as I call it. Those eyes! She's amazing! I digress and am prattling again. While doc was listening to my heart, it duly obliged and performed its circus trick again. Good really as doc could clearly hear it. So blood tests first thing Monday and he's referring me for an ambulatory ecg. My fear about inheriting dad's motor neurone disease can be dismissed as he said it would have presented itself long before now (dad was 42 when we lost him). So there we are. Just have to wait and see.
Weather hotting up. Wishing you all a peaceful weekend although I know so many of you are having a hellish time. I send my love, accompanied by many hugs, to you all and to your loved ones who are so unfairly suffering with this cruel, sadistic disease. Jan x
