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Appears asleep most of the time

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Selinacroft, Dec 19, 2015.

  1. Selinacroft

    Selinacroft Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    937
    I am noticing that Dad is nearly always looking asleep. I try to spend time sitting in same room but he always looks asleep but will occasionally lift head and open eyes. TV is on with programs he expresses an interest in but doesn't appear to want to watch. Maybe this is cataracts and he couldn't see clearly even if he was looking. Maybe it's dementia taking hold. What have others noticed caring for someone with Vascular Dementia?
    is this sleepy phase quite late in the advanced stages?
    I came downstairs to take dog in garden at 3.00 AM and he was wide awake watching tv quietly.
    He's not going to bed or putting his feet up at the moment but sitting in chair 24/7. Nurses have also told hiom to lie down but he won't.
     
  2. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    my mother in law has vascular dementia was diagnosed 3 years ago but we could see problems at least 5 years before this she has lived with us for 3 years and now sleeps a lot goes to bed at between 2 and 4 pm so misses tea ( main meal) wont or cannot wipe herself so I do it unless in night then its every where on towels etc . she does not come down stairs once in bed as toilet next to her room. I am hoping its getting to the end or I may crack as only get 9hrs away with husband as have a sitter. Not sure I can cope much longer .husband goes away to models shows 4 times a year but now she needs bathroom help I cannot go away as he wont or cannot do this .my MIl could do puzzles ,read etc when she first came but in last year reading has gone and now puzzels .she does like music had Pavarotti on tv today and she also likes Freddie mercury so we watch that as well.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    When you say 'maybe this is cataracts' have you had his eyes tested? It would be worth a trip to opticians if not, cataracts severely limit the world and he may be sleeping because he is totally bored. I would prioritise cataract testing

    does he go to any sort of day care
     
  4. Selinacroft

    Selinacroft Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    937
    #4 Selinacroft, Dec 19, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2015
    He's not mobile enough to get to opticians but has had a home visiting optician a couple of months ago. Cataracts are bad enough to be treated but Dad didn't want treatment. I think he thinks he hasn't got long anyway and has had more than enough of medical interventions. He can get by with his glasses so that is the end of that. In his words his eyes will outlive him.
    Yes he is bored but he has never been a social type and not well enough to attend anyway. Whenever day centres have been suggested by professionals he shudders with horror - this is really not for Dad and he would have hated any such event when he was younger so I wouldn't like to inflict it on him now. It would be pure torture.
    He can no longer concentrate on reading or puzzles and to immobile to get up out of his chair besides toilet visits and commode at night. He really has no interest in anything and conversations just turn into strops, moans, complaints , arguments that black is white etc so conversation is lacking. He hasn't got to the stage where he would like a fiddle cushion to keep him busy but sort of limbo in between stage

    Balloo, could you possibly consider an overnight carer staying or make enquiries to see if eligible for a week end respite break? Have you had a Carers Assessment?
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    ahhhh I understand as long as he is happy and peaceful then how about Radio 4 - they have some quite good sessions on. My Ma was nearly 92 and dozed sometimes in the afternoon but no more than many 70 year olds, was active all day and went to lunch club 4 days a week until 3 days before she died - the hospital managed to kill her off in less than 3 days after admission - so i guess everyone with VD is different
     
  6. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    week end restbit is no existent where we are its 2 weeks or nothing at £1000 a week. and cannot book so would not give us a holiday. overnight careres we have no room as mIL is in our spare room . I agree about day centre but never been offered that as don't think any near us any way ,thanks for idea any way . just ranting on here helps
    its first year all xmas shopping been done online .only 3 of us for xmas my daughter not even here she goe to boyfriends I france they will be back in new year
     
  7. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,164
    Over night carers don't need a room, they are awake all night, to attend to the person as required. Generally in my experience sit in the living room till needed. Then in the morning go home to sleep in their own bed.
    Even one night a week would be better than what your getting now.

    Bod
     
  8. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,296
    SW London
    In later stages (Alz, not VasD) my mother would just sit a lot with her eyes closed, though not asleep. She wasn't interested in doing anything, or listening to anything, or anything like hand massages - she actively rejected those. She would say hello briefly, but close her eyes again. I came to the conclusion that she just wanted to be left quietly, in peace, and it wouldn't be kind to persist in trying to engage her in anything when she so clearly did not want to be bothered.
    It did make visits hard, though, when there was nothing I could really do except sit with her, and kiss her hello and goodbye.
     
  9. JusCoping

    JusCoping Registered User

    Dec 22, 2015
    2
    re fizzie; 1209592 - My husband also has vascular dementia and what you describe as sitting in front of the TV and not taking it in is similar experience to what I am experiencing. So probably not cataracts but lack of interest due to the illness. It wouldn t hurt to have regular eye check ups though. All the very best.
     
  10. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,928
    Male
    Bristol
    I thought OH was still in the early stages of Vascular Dementia, getting on for 4 years since diagnosis, and she sleeps a lot and takes in very little of what is on TV. As far as the opticians are concerned her eyesight is pretty good for her age. The problem is more about focusing when she walks and trying to work out what you are pointing out on TV or the Christmas tree I put up which she took a while to notice.

    Not sure if that helps you Selina.
     

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