Aphasia ...biggest problem? or is it money

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Helena, Aug 17, 2006.

  1. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    Whats others experience of AD/VD patients with Aphasia

    One of the biggest problems with my Mother is her loss of the correct words and inability to explain clearly what is wrong or is needed both in person and on the phone this coupled with extreme deafness causes so much aggresion from her when you try for the umpteenth time to explain that you do not understand what she is on about

    Add on she now totally ignores all bills /cheques /letters etc and has probably dumped them in the rubbish yet if you challenge her she is quite violent and claims she has done everything perfectly for years

    The neighbours feel she should be in care but she is so adamant theres nothing wrong with her its the rest of the world thats mad and as the law stands she cant be forced to go into care

    Until she starts wandering the doctors wont even consider sectioning her

    So what on earth does one do

    We do not live close
    We know she is a danger to herself
    She refuses point blank to move out of her house except in a wooden overcoat

    yet is on the phone repeatedly thinking we can just fly in in 5 mins everytime she has mislaid something
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #2 Margarita, Aug 17, 2006
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2006
    Call social worker get them to do assessment.

    As your world is, trun up side down as you get to lean this is not your mum talking . your mum gone. Trying to get that around your head is hard .am sure someone will expain it in a more
    Logical way as I can’t because there is not logic.

    PS I was wondering what is Aphasia ?
  3. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    Aphasia is where a person loses the ability to use and understand language.
    Sometimes this is temporary, such as after a stroke, or sometimes progressive as in dementia.
  4. Bets

    Bets Registered User

    Aug 11, 2005
    South-East London, UK
    With respect, Lynne, aphasia is far from always temporary following a stroke. It will not get progressively worse (unless from a subsequent stroke), but it can remain a severe problem in some people. Of course, with speech and language therapy, considerable improvement and adjustment can occur.

  5. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    I think at nearly 90 improvement and adjustment is unlikely somehow given the decline in her other abilities
  6. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    I think Lynne's point was to distinguish between circumstances where aphasia might be sometimes be temporary and where it was always permanent. While aphasia might be temporary, permanent or somewhere in between when someone has had a stoke, aphasia due to a progressive disease of the brain (such as AD) will be permanent.
  7. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    My mum's concept of 'managing finances' is of great concern - unlike your mum, Helen - for my mum, it is not so much about 'ignoring' bills and money issues.... more having to manage her anxiety and persuade her she is not in debt, overdrawn etc etc...

    I do feel that while she is perfectly capable in some areas (some days), including general communication skills, the whole concept of 'money' seems to have been the first area of day-to-day functioning which became noticably alien to her..... it does put her at risk ... but not as much as forgetting to lock her door etc.....

    I'm sure someone with better knowledge could explain why mathematic/budgeting type skills seem to fly the realm long before other linguistic/communication skills do...

    In the meantime, best of luck. If social services are not involved by now, perhaps you really do need to consider it - for your own peace of mind, as well as your mum's safety...

    Love, Karen (TF), x
  8. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    Despite my Mothers aphasia she is still very well able to see off anyone like social services with a mighty flea in their ear

    just had the plumber she called on the phone ......what he said about her is not for polite company ........he has known her for years
  9. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    Ok perhaps your Mother would do this Helena, but have you actually tried to get them involved? They must hear about cases like your Mother all the time and there must be ways and means of getting help to her. How about writing to your Mother's doctor and telling her/him all the things that she does? Perhaps they would do a home visit. At least it is worth a try?
  10. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    When my mother fall the other week the doctor in the hospital told me to phone district nurse for mum diabetic , well reading Helena past posting about her mum she sound like my mother .she gave the nurse a mouth full in why was she coming around she would not let the nurse write take note . All she wanted was the nurse to get out of the house lol.

    All the nurse could say was they must love her at day centre:eek: . Now I wonder why the district nurses have not been back since that day.

    Yes, seem I shall have to ring them up angina asking why :)
  11. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006

    You are a star! At last I know that Mary has Aphasia. Since she was diagnosed with AD six years ago she has had increasing difficulty in finding the words to express herself. At first she would use words that were similar to those she wished to use, for instance "intensive care" became "insensitive care" much to the amusement of everyone including Mary. We have now reached the point where I have become her interpreter as for some unexplained reason I can understand her disjointed and confused language.

    It is comforting to know that this is not something peculiar to Mary and is not uncommon.

    Thanks to you all.

  12. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    Oh its a total guessing game where my Mothers concerned ........worse still when she says "you know" and we dont have a clue

    Her understanding is shot to pieces yet somehow she manages and insists on living alone

    Have already tried contacting doctors etc ..........everyone gets the same treatment ........from somewhere deep in her mangled brain she manages to send them all off with a flea in their ear
  13. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    Yes its becoming an increasing problem with mum.....most of the time I do understand but lately its getting more and more difficult to understand at times.....Like your mum Helena...when I can't understand she gets very angry with me ....frustration I guess...
    Karen....my mum also gets very anxious about money and shee too worries about being in debt....in spite of my reassurances....it seems once she gets something in her mind then it just won't go away....I find this very odd when she can "hang onto" something like that for ages yet can't remember what I said 30 seconds ago!
  14. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Understanding of money ....

    Helena (and everyone else!!!)... I share this in a hope of making you smile...

    (I really AM going away, promise!!! - no that wasn't it!!!:p )

    Mum has been 'saving up' to treat my son to 'spends' for his holiday..... a few weeks ago she gave him a £20 note for the few days we were having away without a bat of an eyelid... and I protested it was far too much.... today we have counted up the bags of coin she has been 'saving'..... £2.43 in bronze ...... 10 pesetas, a quarter dollar, 3 'real' pennies from the 1960s and a 1920s piece I have yet to fathom....

    'Intrinsic'? Priceless!!!!

    Take care, all,

    Love, Karen, x
  15. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    Hi Karen
    whenever we used to visit mum and dad they always used to give the kids money as we were leaving......couple of pounds each.....fiver maybe.....the last time they visited mum at her house she gave them 18p to share between them.......I was so proud of them....they hugged her and kissed her as if she'd given them a fortune!....I suppose she remembered that thats what she used to do....but the value had disappeared.......
    Now.....get yourself away and dodge those thunderstorms!!!!!:eek:
  16. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    Thunderstorms ......rain ??????

    sick of seeing the weather forecast with promises of heavy rain over our area but every single time it gets on a plane and passes us by

    My garden was a dessert weeks back
  17. Kath TN

    Kath TN Registered User

    May 5, 2006
    Hi Helena

    You have just given me an insight into my dad's condition! I had never heard of Aphasia (have I spelt it right?) but your description of your mum's behaviour summed up precisely what my dad can be like ....... and much as I empathise with you I am so relieved to find a name for what is happening to my dad! Does that sound awful?

    We've had a really bad couple of weeks and during a conversation with Dad's CPN she thought that he has had several TIAs (small strokes?) and your analogy of your mum has just put that conversation and Dad's condition into perspective.

    Thank you so much - isn't it strange that we can get comfort from other people's problems - not only strange but a welcome feeling of a problem shared a problem halved!

    Kath :)
  18. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    I am glad to have helped you ......strange that the doctors have not spotted it or mentioned it isnt it

    Yes I am sure my Mother has had /is continually having TIAs ......in fact i think the first was 4 yrs ago when she drove into a brick wall
    3 yrs ago when she collapsed at Xmas dinner table
    2 years ago when she collpsed in greenhouse and so we go on
    she has had high blood pressure for over 20 yrs and is on meds for that
    has severe osteoporosis plus arthritis and is on Cox 2 inhibitors which are known to cause TIAs

    At nearly 90 though what does one expect ..something has to be our downfall
  19. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    The biggest problems with my mother were getting her to eat and drink adequately, and night-wandering, and the occasional episodes of violence.
  20. pammy14

    pammy14 Registered User

    Dec 5, 2005
    My sister definitely has aphasia. It started a few years ago with inability to say the names of things so she said 'whatsit' or 'thingy' . Now she has hardley say any speech except what day is it , why, and things we know that mean home , tablets watch etc. It gets very frustrating for her when she wants to tell us anything. Obviously normal conversation is impossible so I do all the talking as she sems to understand most things.

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