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Apathy

Pusskins

Registered User
Jun 6, 2020
275
0
New Zealand
I am beginning to worry that I have early stage dementia. I am so apathetic about everything, that sometimes I wonder if life is worth living. There seems to be no purpose to my life and I can't be bothered even doing the basics. I leave the dishes until I have no choice other than to wash them. Same with housework in general. I am also becoming forgetful. I am still waiting to sell my house and move closer to MH and this isn't helping me. I know that I have to create a new life for myself once I'm settled in my new home and I also know I don't like living alone. This is all taking its toll on me and long weekends such as this one, don't help at all! Please tell me my feelings are normal and not the start of dementia!
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,668
0
I am beginning to worry that I have early stage dementia. I am so apathetic about everything, that sometimes I wonder if life is worth living. There seems to be no purpose to my life and I can't be bothered even doing the basics. I leave the dishes until I have no choice other than to wash them. Same with housework in general. I am also becoming forgetful. I am still waiting to sell my house and move closer to MH and this isn't helping me. I know that I have to create a new life for myself once I'm settled in my new home and I also know I don't like living alone. This is all taking its toll on me and long weekends such as this one, don't help at all! Please tell me my feelings are normal and not the start of dementia!
Absolutely normal, pusskins. Combination of uncertainty, long weekends, being alone, and stress. Please don’t add this to your worries. You are such a good woman.
With love Geraldine
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,178
0
South coast
I think we all wonder if we are getting dementia.
I keep on losing words and my memory is shocking - Im losing track of time, think Ive done things when I havent (I think Ive put the pie in the oven for dinner and when I go to check on how it is cooking, find it still on top of the oven), or alternatively, forget Ive done something (I discover something has been done, I know OH wouldnt hve done it, so it must be me, although I have recollection of it) and I just cant be bothered a lot of the time.

Im telling myself its just stress..........
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,407
0
Southampton
its probably too many things on your mind that while you remember the more important stuff, the little things go out of your mind. you are only human doing a super human job. there are things that just dont matter.
 

fromnz123

Registered User
Aug 2, 2019
74
0
UK
When I was going thru a particularly stressful time when I was caring for my mum, one day when I was going to the supermarket, I queued up to go into the car park, the barrier to the car park opened, the car in front of me went in, and I drove straight in, until the barrier came straight down onto the windscreen 🤦🏼‍♀️ That definitely shook me out of my thoughts!!
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,364
0
Victoria, Australia
I am beginning to worry that I have early stage dementia. I am so apathetic about everything, that sometimes I wonder if life is worth living. There seems to be no purpose to my life and I can't be bothered even doing the basics. I leave the dishes until I have no choice other than to wash them. Same with housework in general. I am also becoming forgetful. I am still waiting to sell my house and move closer to MH and this isn't helping me. I know that I have to create a new life for myself once I'm settled in my new home and I also know I don't like living alone. This is all taking its toll on me and long weekends such as this one, don't help at all! Please tell me my feelings are normal and not the start of dementia!
What you say reminds me very much of when my depresion was its absolute worst.

I found it impossible to do anything much and when I did it was only out of necessity. Like you, I questioned the whole point of my existence and mostly I had to pretend that everything was OK to family and friends.

My GP was very helpful and prescribed a light antidepressant as well as referring me for psychological counselling. The latter wasn't entirely successful ad now I still have some bad days.

When people talk about carers' burnout, the most devastating part is not just the physical part of caring but the emotional toll that it takes out of you. It's time for you to care for yourself and I hope that you will take time to seek help and healing.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,473
0
Not to worry @Pusskins , these are all normal symptoms of stress and depression and not surprising after everything you have been through and are going through still. Perhaps treat yourself and get someone in to do the housework for a while.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,485
0
High Peak
I think we all wonder if we are getting dementia.
I keep on losing words and my memory is shocking - Im losing track of time, think Ive done things when I havent (I think Ive put the pie in the oven for dinner and when I go to check on how it is cooking, find it still on top of the oven), or alternatively, forget Ive done something (I discover something has been done, I know OH wouldnt hve done it, so it must be me, although I have recollection of it) and I just cant be bothered a lot of the time.

Im telling myself its just stress..........
Me too. Most of that. I can come up with valid excuses for a lot of it but...

Once you've been through it with a loved one, you quickly pick up on 'lapses' in yourself and others around you and wonder - could this be...?

What @Pusskins describes sounds very much like depression resulting from the shock of her husband having dementia and the dawning realisation of what that means. Big life changes (or the prospect of them) become much harder as we get older. It all seems too much and it's easier to do nothing. Then we feel bad for doing nothing and the downward spiral continues!

I don't have answers. I struggle enough myself and I no longer have caring responsibilities. One thing: I don't know your age but many of these symptoms accompany menopause - maybe that is relevant? I've had menopausal symptoms for 20 years now (yes, really!) so I know how hard it is.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
15,178
0
South coast
Hi @Jaded'n'faded , Im 64 and thought I was past the menopause, but who knows. I think its probably more relevant that I had covid last year and am pretty sure I got long covid. Even now I get breathless at times and the fatigue hits me at about 4.00pm
 

DennyD

Registered User
Dec 6, 2016
233
0
Porthcawl, South Wales
What @Pusskins describes sounds very much like depression resulting from the shock of her husband having dementia and the dawning realisation of what that means.
I echo this. I wondered this morning, why can I not come to terms with all of this? I find it so hard to accept, yet realising I must if I want to keep going. I feel like I no longer belong, I'm angry with everything, the system, with being treated like an add-on, the sentiments 'there, there dear, we are hear to help'. We were private people and I cannot stand having to reveal so much about ourselves 'in return' for help, advice and care.
I know that I have to create a new life for myself once I'm settled in my new home and I also know I don't like living alone. This is all taking its toll on me and long weekends such as this one, don't help at all! Please tell me my feelings are normal and not the start of dementia!
Creating a new life is hard and I can only imagine how difficult it is having to go through all the things you built as a couple so you can sell your house and move. Even more difficult when you do not have the energy to go through the daily motions. So yes, I think what you are going through is normal, you need and must be given the time to go through it at your pace.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,544
0
It sounds like depression to me too @Pusskins and after the experience with your husband I am not surprised. When I was looking after dad I got to the stage that when I went home I couldn't care less about housework or anything else to be honest and even now almost a year and a half after dad died I feel just the same. Apathy, I recognise that too, no purpose anymore either. It's not surprising that you forget things, your brain has probably been swamped with dementia information (I know mine has) and you need time to come to terms with everything that has happened. It's a scary situation to be in and sends emotions all over the place.

I planted some pots up in the garden last week and they look lovely so I have promised myself that this week I will clean the patio even if I don't want to. One step at a time may be the way to go and don't put yourself down, you have coped with a lot. Be kind to yourself and take your time.
 

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