1. Philippa

    Philippa Registered User

    Feb 26, 2008
    41
    Essex
    I'm so sorry, Nicky. It's awful, isn't it? I would like to think everyone at the hospital cared but I really don't think they do.

    The district nurse was wonderful, as was our GP, who tried to get Dad admitted straight on to a ward. They couldn't do that. NO BEDS. If he'd been dying of cancer he'd have gone to a hospice.

    One consultant, one agency nurse and the assessment unit sister have been kind.

    I feel so desperate. My poor Dad is all alone at the moment.

    I wish the GP had left him yesterday to die in his own bed.

    Philippa
     
  2. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    716
    Ashford, Kent
    Hi Philippa

    Sorry to hear things are not good with your Dad.

    Best wishes to you all.

    Beverley x
     
  3. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    Hi Philippa,

    The treatment of your Dad is disgraceful. I know the staff are pushed, but how would they feel if their Dad was left like that for 27 hours? I know how I would feel! :mad::mad::mad:

    I'm glad he is now on a ward and hope his care will improve.
     
  4. rhallacroz

    rhallacroz Registered User

    Sep 24, 2007
    106
    merseyside
    Hi Philipa

    Hi Philipa
    It sounds a nightmare. Our hospitals today are a disgrace. I speak as a former generarl nurse now Midwife. I have a lot of experience as a advocate for patients and friends and sat on the Community Health Council for 8 years. THis used to a body of people from all walks of life who monitored hospital standards etc. It was disbanded by the Govt and replaced by PALS not as good I am afraid. Over the last 2 years I have witnessed appauling care both on wards in A and E etc. I am afraid you have to jump in and go straight to the top. Do you have a nurse in your company of family and friends.
    My first job if I am not happy is to demand to see the Matron on duty that day. Immediately tell her or him that you are not satisfied with the level of care. Is your dad on a special mattress to prevent pressure sores. Is he having humidified Oxygen. Full regular mouth care. Are you as a family being given time and space to support him. If you dont get anywhere at that level ask for an Urgent appt with the Chief Executive and the Press office for the hospital. This usually makes them jump to attention.
    Next ask for the name of the Hospital Chairman you may find it on the hospital website. Contact them and demand a meeting. These issues in our local hospitals need to be addressed pronto. The standards in our hospitals are so dreadful they are becoming the norm and being accepted amongst the general public. It is only when one has to experience them first hand that one realizes the deapth of the deterioation. The Govt needs to stop building NHS palaces and concentrate on recruiting 1st class nurses who know how to care. Sadly us nurses who trained in the 80s have mostly left the NHS had enough.
    I am sorry for ranting I just wanted you to know some of the bells to pull. Believe you me it does work.
    Lastly you need to contact the Panorama team at the BBC they have details on their website..
    I hope Phillipa that today is better for you and your family. If things dont improve I suggest that you demand Dad is placed at home with full time care suggest that he meets the criteria of Continuing Health Care which I am sure he does. This is not to be financially driven decision and I know is difficult to get. BUt is possible. At least your dad will be ably to die with dignity at home.
    I sincerely hope that things are improving Philipa and that you do receive excellent care for here on in and get the support that you all need as a family.
    Thoughts are with you
    Kind regards
    Angela. x
     
  5. Philippa

    Philippa Registered User

    Feb 26, 2008
    41
    Essex
    I always seem to start these saying Thank You. Thank You!! You're all so brilliant.

    I rang the ward last night. The nurse told me Dad was comfortable. I said we'd be in this morning. She said visiting hours were 2.30 to 7.30.

    Mum and my boyfriend are cross with me for being cross with her. I want to see Dad this morning.

    My cousin and her husband, Mum, me and my daughter all want to visit this afternoon. Will we have to go in two by two like yesterday?

    I'm at the stage I could just get in my car and drive off and leave this whole shambles behind me.

    xx
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,337
    Kent
    Dear Philippa,

    There is probably no morning visiting because of the `housework` that has to be done and because of doctor`s rounds.

    But your mother and boyfriend shouldn`t be cross with you. You are cross with the treatment your father has had and are unlikely to get over it until you see him being treated with the care he deserves.

    I`d just go easy on your mother though. She is probably trying her best to hold herself together.

    I hope you have a better visit this afternoon.

    Love xx
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Plilippa, I know you don't mean that, you're just so frustrated with having to fight for everything. I know that feeling well, and we shouldn't have to fight.

    Most wards are closed to visitors in the mornings, because of washing patients, changing beds, doctors' rounds, etc. Usually there are several consultants with patients in a ward, and the ward has to be clear of visitors because of patient confidentiality.

    2.30 - 7-30 is quite a long stretch, could you and your family stagger your visits, rather than all sit around? It's very tiring and stressful sitting round hospitals for a long time. You could always arrange to phone each other in an emergency.

    Alternatively, when John was in hospital I asked if I could go in at mealtimes and feed him. They were glad to let me do this, it was one less for them to feed.

    I hope you feel more reassured after you've seen your dad today. Let us know how he is.

    Love,
     
  8. heartbroken

    heartbroken Registered User

    Feb 17, 2008
    747
    derbyshire
    Hi philippa
    just wanted to give you a big hug, they shouldn't be cross with you all you want is to be with your dad I would want to, I would have been tempted to go on my own this morning and say I thought visiting was all day and as I am there could I do anything to help with his care you never no they might let you see him.
    thinking of you

    Angela please rant away it has given me lots to think about when/if I am in the same situation as Philippa thanks for that advice.
     
  9. Philippa

    Philippa Registered User

    Feb 26, 2008
    41
    Essex
    Had a good cry. Not feeling too much better but I'm going to take the dogs out now. That usually helps. x
     
  10. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    506
    West Yorkshire
    #30 hendy, Mar 15, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2008
    Hi Phillipa
    I have just caught up with your post. I am sorry Dad is so poorly at the moment. You and your family must be beside themselves with distress and worry right now. I have to add to Grannie G's and everyone's suggestions, its an absolute disgrace that your Dad has been treated in such a way. How hard this must be - I just can't imagine. I would also want to be reassured Dad is being looked after properly after the experience he had in A and E. Keep us posted.
    take care
    hendy
     
  11. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Hear, Hear, Hear.

    Write to your MP, complain to the national press - in fact everyone do it.
    Barb
     
  12. Philippa

    Philippa Registered User

    Feb 26, 2008
    41
    Essex
    You lot are fantastic!

    I don't really know what to say about Dad. I spent this afternoon with him and, as advised on TP, then my cousin went in, and then my brother. He seemed much perkier. Physically failing, but he was so sweet when we kissed him goodbye. Told Mum he liked kissing her! She said he hadn't said that for 50 years. Told my daughter he loved her.

    The hospital is a joke. A brand new one, just across the road from the old pig-sty. Dad was soaking wet. Not just his pad, but it had soaked right up his back and all over his sheets and blanket. We asked twice for him to be changed. The ladies who eventually cared for him were absolutely lovely. I asked one of them if they checked the pads of their incontinient patients regularly - she (bless her, she was so nice with Dad) said they were short staffed. Also told me that some of the staff there 'couldn't be buggered'. Said so much of the work fell to so few.

    Dad has a cut from a fall at home last week. His plaster was dirty. We relaced it and it started bleeding badly. We asked if he could have a dressing on it. They said they could if they found the time later. They didn't find the time.

    He has a bad chest infection. His drugs that were due at 1pm were given to him at 4pm. Apparently there'd been some kind of mix-up in the pharmacy. Drugs had been sent to A and E instead of his ward.

    Why does this happen?

    I love my Dad and I just want him clean, cared for and comfortable. Is that too much to ask?

    p x



    Yesterday, in the Acute Assessment Unit, during all the hours we were with Dad, not one doctor ever entered the room to see him or any of the three other patients.

    They did, however, spend a lot of time crowded around the patients' board, discussing how. when, where, they were going to off-load their patients.

    I am keeping a record of all of this. I'm usually pretty docile but I am SO CROSS! I will do something. I am determinined to make another family's experience better.

    Thanks to you all on TP. You're all a lifesaver.
     
  13. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland

    Philippa, you're absolutely right to keep a record, and let them know you're keeping an eye on things. No it's certainly not too much to ask, and it's something we should all be demanding!

    Sadly, what you're describing is not uncommon in hospitals,and (it appears), even nursing homes. Staff don't want to work at weekends, so they operate on the absolute minimum. John was generally well cared-for when he was in hospital, but I too complained about the weekend cover. There just weren't enough of them to cope with the feeding, changing, medicating, etc. The only answer is to pay more, but of course they won't do that.

    I'm sure you'll be happier on Monday, when things are back to normal. I'm glad yesterday's visiting went so well, in spite of the problems. I hope your dad is peaceful today.

    Love,
     
  14. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    506
    West Yorkshire
    Hi Phillipa

    No, it is not too much to ask, it is the very least that should be happening for your Dad. You have every right to be cross about his treatment( or lack of it) - its dreadful and its not just a one-off, its one thing after another. I hope you have the strength to 'get on' to them at this distressing time.
    take care
    hope things improve soon
    hendy
     
  15. Philippa

    Philippa Registered User

    Feb 26, 2008
    41
    Essex
    Feeling guilty that I'm not visiting Dad today. I am so tired. I ache all over from carrying him up the stairs after his last fall on Wednesday. haven't had much sleep this week. I have taken this afternoon off. Mum and my girl are with him. Will be cooking them all a meal tonight.

    My daughter is a star! She is with Mum at the hospital now. She combs Dad's hair, cleans his mouth, scratches his arm where the cannulas (is that the word?) have been. One of nmy nieces is virtually catatonic at the moment. She saw Dad on Friday and can't cope. Has said she doesn't want to see Grandad again. I can't blame her. She's only 11, and Friday in the Assessment Unit was pretty dreadful. Would have been so helpful if we could all have been together. Not all of this, Only Two At A Time. I don't know what to do to help her. When I hugged her, she was rigid. I thought I'd break her in two.

    Strangely, but wonderfully, Dad seems to have rallied a bit. He has been given some food. Still tells people he's 106 and living on Mars (it was India last week). I just hope when Mum gets back tonight she doesn't tell me he's wet, or sore, or thirsty.

    Thanks you all again for being so sweet. You are getting my whole family through this.

    x
     
  16. 117katie

    117katie Guest

    Dear Philippa

    My Girl was always "born in 1066", "120 years old", "haven't seen anyone all week", "want to go home" and the "Queen of Sheba" is on the throne! Which she may have been at the time. And I guess we may all have been "catatonic" at some point, and I know I've been rigid too. So your 11 year old deserves a big cuddle.

    You may not be visiting today, but you are providing the delicious meal that they will enjoy. That is what I call support!!!

    Hope all works out ok, and just to say ... that we all know how you feel.

    Katie
     
  17. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,337
    Kent
    Philippa, why on earth did you carry your father upstairs by yourself? Why didn`t you call for an ambulance?

    I`m so sorry for your niece, she sounds really frightened. But your daughter truly is a star. Everyone is different and we can only accept.

    I hope your mother and daughter are OK when they return home.

    Don`t feel guilty, regular daily visiting is stressful and exhausting.

    Love xx
     
  18. Philippa

    Philippa Registered User

    Feb 26, 2008
    41
    Essex
    Sylvia, we didn't know we could call the paramedics. Sounds so stupid now. The district nurse told us the next day that we could have got help. We're so new to this. Looking back, which we do constantly now, we know Dad has had a problem for quite a few years, but Mum has been terrified and I have had my head quite firmly in the sand. It's been a huge shock that Dad has gone downhill so fast.

    The news is not good from the hospital tonight. His chest infection is worse, or at least sounding worse. No doctor will see him until tomorrow. He is at least dry and comfortable.

    I hate myself for not going to visit today.

    Don't know what else to say.

    x
     
  19. MJK

    MJK Registered User

    Oct 22, 2004
    54

    DON'T!!!

    There is ALWAYS something you'll feel bad about, ALWAYS. There's no point though. You're not superwoman, and it seems to me you're doing a pretty good job at a very tough time. You can only do your best - and you obviously are.
     
  20. Philippa

    Philippa Registered User

    Feb 26, 2008
    41
    Essex
    Dad's not good. His heart is only working at 15% and his kidneys have failed. We've all been with him today but tonight I brought Mum back here to feed her, the staff nurse was concerned about her. They've moved Dad to a private room and he is sedated.

    We're all broken up. And now I'm about to be so selfish but it's my birthday tomorrow. I feel so sad.

    xx
     

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