Hi,
I wanted to see if there is anyone out there in there 20s caring for a loved one or helping to care?
I am 26 and help my mum care for my granddad and am finding it hard sometimes. My aunts and uncles do have him on the weekends (and by have him I mean take him out in the day),but in the week and mornings and evenings it's down to mum and I to get him up and dressed and fed etc (all before getting ourselves to work).
In fairness to them, they did come and stay with granddad a whole week so mum and I could have our first holiday together in over 2 years, so they experienced first hand how much we do, but once we returned they went back to their few hours every other weekend, with no one checking how we are week in week out.
I go through a barrage of emotions daily and find I do sometimes resent my granddad (wish is horrid as this disease is not his fault!). I just feel like as well as my mums life being on hold. In some ways mine is too. I know my mum would like me to just get up and go if I ever wanted, but being an only child, I want to be there as her support to give her a rest sometimes. So, I'll sacrifice nights out sometimes or weekends away with my boyfriend.
I just struggle and I know what I'm like as a person, I won't leave unless I feel mum has family support, which when we try to speak to family they get defensive, like we are accusing them of never being there (they don't listen).
My older cousins of a similar age live in their bubble (no living in it I guess...) and I resent that they can just get on living there lives.
I'm just afraid one day I'll wake up, having never really lived my life because I cared "too much" and then will ultimately end up caring for my mum once all the granddad care has ended.
Not sure I'm making much sense to my point but hoping someone out there will understand me....
Thanks.
I wanted to see if there is anyone out there in there 20s caring for a loved one or helping to care?
I am 26 and help my mum care for my granddad and am finding it hard sometimes. My aunts and uncles do have him on the weekends (and by have him I mean take him out in the day),but in the week and mornings and evenings it's down to mum and I to get him up and dressed and fed etc (all before getting ourselves to work).
In fairness to them, they did come and stay with granddad a whole week so mum and I could have our first holiday together in over 2 years, so they experienced first hand how much we do, but once we returned they went back to their few hours every other weekend, with no one checking how we are week in week out.
I go through a barrage of emotions daily and find I do sometimes resent my granddad (wish is horrid as this disease is not his fault!). I just feel like as well as my mums life being on hold. In some ways mine is too. I know my mum would like me to just get up and go if I ever wanted, but being an only child, I want to be there as her support to give her a rest sometimes. So, I'll sacrifice nights out sometimes or weekends away with my boyfriend.
I just struggle and I know what I'm like as a person, I won't leave unless I feel mum has family support, which when we try to speak to family they get defensive, like we are accusing them of never being there (they don't listen).
My older cousins of a similar age live in their bubble (no living in it I guess...) and I resent that they can just get on living there lives.
I'm just afraid one day I'll wake up, having never really lived my life because I cared "too much" and then will ultimately end up caring for my mum once all the granddad care has ended.
Not sure I'm making much sense to my point but hoping someone out there will understand me....
Thanks.