I'm 33 and my mum who's 61 has had AD for the past 12 years or so. I can't remember exactly what age she was diagnosed with it but she started developing noticeable symptoms in her late 40s. My father who's 63 is her carer - he retired early to look after her, something I'll always be grateful for.
I find it tough in a different way to my father. He's got the really though job - having to deal with my mum day to day. My job takes me away from home during the week and that's saved my sanity. I come home most weekends to give my dad a break and to help out. That's had its good and bad sides. I'm torn between wanting to live my own life and being pulled back towards home where things are getting more difficult. I never had the carefree 20s in the way that my peers had. Sometimes it bothers me, usually it doesn't. Having said that, I feel my life has passed me by a bit because I'm 33 and single etc. Then again, I just would love to cut myself loose and not have to worry about anyone ever again - no husband, no kids.
It took me a long time to accept my mum's Alzheimer's and it's only in the last year and half that I can talk to anyone about it without bursting into tears. When I was growing up, we were very close and I miss her dreadfully. I never thought I'd have to dress my mother, change her pads, liquidize her food or help her with other ordinary everyday things that we all take for granted. It's like we've switched roles - now I'm the mother. Because it's been such a long drawn out process, it's given us time to adjust. From a family point of view, I think the saddest thing is that our memories of what a wonderful person my mother was have faded and are being replaced by what she is now
Hi Cymbaline....I just had to respond to your post b/c it totally hit home....I am 34, single and live in a "retirement town"....After graduating with my second degree I didn't know what the hell to do to find a job so I moved from Missouri to Florida....got a job and I am about 50 miles from the parents house....I have been here for 6 years....I am an only child and when Dad was showing signs and diagnosed with Alzheimer's I didn't know what to do....I kept thinking about what to do for 2 years....I have no life here (retirement town....not too many people under the age of 50) and I want to go to Graduate School (England is my first choice....I want to study British History)....well here it is going on 6 years in Florida....I made the choice to put my life on hold....as I stated earlier I am an only child....I don't come from a big extended family and most of my relatives passed away when I was a child....my parents have been very good to me over the years and I just can't in good conscience leave my Mom alone to deal with this....so I have been going home every weekend to help Mom and to see Dad. Well....on November 10th 2007 I went to NYC for a Duran Duran show (I have been a loyal fan for 26 years)....I called Mom to let her know I got to the hotel and she told me that my Dad had been admitted to the hospital....that was November 10th 2007....he hasn't been home since. Last July he had a stroke and was hospitalized....it turns out that he got some sort of infection during that time period which caused his going to the ER on Nov. 10th. He has been in two nursing homes/rehab centers and two hospitals since that day....it has been HELL....in addition to being devastated we have had a rather quick and shocking introduction to health-"care" and how Alzheimer's patients are treated. Now my Dad is dying....I am 34 years old and I have never been to a funeral....most of my relatives passed away when I was a child so all I have experienced is the loss of pets. I have so much bottled up inside me trying to deal with/understand/accept the fact that Dad has Alzheimer's....to see him deteriorate so fast during the last two years....hell....even the last six months has just about killed me....my heart is just broken....I am very close to my Father....I was born on Father's Day..................
....Sorry that I rambled on....
....Take Care and HUGS to all
P.S....I realize that this site is based in the UK....however as I live in the U.S.A. I hope it is ok that I joined and posted....
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