Anyone heard from Daisy G. lately?

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Bless you, Lynne

And God willing, Daisy G is OK - I wish I could report I'd heard from her....

As some will know I'm on huge 'catch up' here - and just read Daisy's last posts with horror .... and Daisy, if you're able to access TP please know the hugest hugs are here for you.....

I have had reason before to question (privately) someone's safety (not necessarily the sufferer) and so would like to now ask this question publicly for the moderators, in particular, to respond to....

'If someone becomes aware that a person/persons are in potential danger what can 'TP', its members and/or moderators, given all our anonymity, do about it?'

Karen

PS: The answer 'nothing' will not go down well.
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Hiya Karen and Lynne,
Sorry can't answer your question. If you look at Daisy's previous postings, she does frequently have breaks of at least a week or two - so hopefully there is no cause for concern - hopefully she will be in touch soon and put our minds at rest.
Love Helen
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
'If someone becomes aware that a person/persons are in potential danger what can 'TP', its members and/or moderators, given all our anonymity, do about it?'

Karen

PS: The answer 'nothing' will not go down well.
There is a practical limit to what TP can provide, in my opinion as a member.

The best we can do is publicly to recommend a course of action - for instance to contact the Alzheimer's Society Help Line, Samaritans, the police, the GP.

With the best will in the world, anything more is not practical unless using PMs an individual has forged a special relationship with the person concerned. In such a case, the choice is theirs.

Just my thoughts, whether or not they go down well.

Good - and essential - question to pose though!

We have to understand the reasonable limits to what TP can provide.

Naturally, we are concerned as a group and will be relieved to hear news.
 

Cate

Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
1,370
Newport, Gwent
Hi All

I've been thinking about Daisy too. I put in a general post to her a while ago just asking how she was, but as you all no doubt know, no reply. Here's hoping she is safe and well
Cate
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
Quote Bruce
The best we can do is publicly to recommend a course of action - for instance to contact the Alzheimer's Society Help Line, Samaritans, the police, the GP.

I agree with Bruce,I cannot see what else can we do.
I too worked in the NHS and my experience of trying to alert SS or other bodies met with the confidentiality problem,"are you a relative?Who are you? etc etc.
I cannot see how any other contact can be made except through a PM and then with great caution
My personal experience and opinion.
I would be very pleased to hear the opinions of others.
Norman
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Just ideas....

Tender Face said:
PS: The answer 'nothing' will not go down well.
Goodness, I'm quoting myself - things must be bad....:(

That was not meant as a challenge .... just a cry for help for some positivity and an injection of hope....in a pretty desperate week, selfishly for myself and others here…..

I think one very positive thing here is that someone - and then subsequently others - has/have shown their care and concern for someone.... so maybe a simple answer to the 'What can we do?' is show that TPers DO care.... and when someone has been 'missed' (ok loads of stuff around frequency of contributions etc) they know they're missed..... (testimony to TP itself)....

Conversely, I shudder to think anyone thinks they're going 'AWOL' if they just 'need a break' or decide not to post anymore - and suddenly TP is NOT the right place to be - for whatever reason...

This is about protection - and when alarm bells go ... do we not have a duty to protect? And I am not suggesting a moderator/member/browser etc. takes that responsibility .... just any decent citizen.... Some 'stuff' I've learnt recently about internet investigations makes me wonder that ANY charity - generally offering support for very vulnerable people and their often very vulnerable carers (not just dementia) - should be acknowledging the susceptibility of some its members in a more holistic way than just the ‘presenting concern’ - and have appropriate relationships with statutory 'authorities' to deal with pressing, immediate and genuine issues that arise…

I don’t for one minute suggest that such issues are purely for the realms of moderators/hosts other than as facilitators ….., and perhaps more for THEIR protection in assuming the responsibility of their role, than simply reassuring the rest of the membership, suggest there should be an identified process in place?

Back to that old insurance policy - we all hope we never have to call on it - but it’s reassuring to know it’s there should we need it…..
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
I was wondering Norman, seeing that when we put a notification to our email, when a post has been posted to a thread we like, could Nada not email Daisy G showing our concern ?
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
Nada said:
Although the administrators of TP can see members email addresses......
Sorry to pose another concern (different slant on 'internet safety and safeguarding' but this is to seek assurance for all of us ......) .... how do members know who the administrators are?????

Many thanks, Karen, x
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Thanks Nada for your clarification

... also for the record, I asked Nada to make my title "Moderator" not "Administrator" a while ago because some members thought I had some sort of authority on TP. Not so, I'm a member who offered to help in moderating.

I'm a moderator who yanks some stats off the software, and sometimes removes those blessed awful people who post ads on here.

and that's all!

To forestall any worries..... the data I pull from TP is anonymised data - it contains no details of specific members. It relates primarily to daily totals of posts, new members etc and the results are used in our justifying increasing levels of support from AS. I had a former life where this sort of thing was my daily bread; I'm a numbers anorak!
 

alex

Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
1,665
I gave my works e-mail address when i joined tp (only because i can access it from anywhere) i did not really want anyone at work to know that i contact tp, as thats my own personal affair, yet i recieve on average 10 e-mails a month from tp to inform me that my mail box is full !! (my own fault.....I know!!)........the point being.......is that if i can recieve these e-mails, why can't a suitable message be sent to Daisy? If this service is to be totally anonymous then there should be no contact at all..............i don't think it can be justified to say its o.k. to contact someone to inform them their mail box is full, but its not o.k. to contact someone when their safety is of some concern!
I don't agree that she is unlikely to recieve it, as it might be a work/business e-mail address that she has access to on a daily basis.

Alex x
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
As a moderator, and ordinary member or TP, I would just ask "what else can be done?".............NOTHING.

I access my inbox, I know exactly what is 'going on' on TP. If as, at present, I choose, because of personal difficulties, to ignore my emails, pm's etc.........once again, personal choice.

I am not a very good moderator, because I can only offer support when my life is on an even keel (HA HA, when has dementia and even keel ever shared the same sentence)

I suppose what I am trying to say is: Daisy will contact us when she needs us This has happened in the past and will again I am sure.

It is good to know however that sometimes we are missed on TP. Love to all
 

alex

Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
1,665
Hi Connie

I am not a very good moderator, because I can only offer support when my life is on an even keel
Firstly Connie..........i would never say that you were not a very good moderator.......on the contrary, you are .........and its understandable that your husband is your priority .......and your support is secondary to that and that is rightly so, however, that said...........i don't think that Daisy's last post was offering support..............maybe i've misread her thread but it seemed to me to be a cry for help in the fact that she is faced with a capable 46 year old man who is very often violent to the point where she was fearful............she then has no further contact for over three weeks...........what i'm saying is .........call me a worrier if you wish..........but i for one am concerned about this lady (some might think thats unjustified concern) if the answer to the question is that tp can't do anything to help then thats fine, but as concerned users, the question needed to be asked!

Love Alex x
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Who knows Maybe daisy is reading our post and is just not ready to posting back, if you are daisy , PM me any time, sometime its just good to write it all down send it of , knowing someone is reading it and making know judgment in how your coping with it all your self as in :- posting is like someone just listening , not making any comments , but really understand where your coming from.

I may be wrong , but I thought I would share that .