Anyone free to help

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Aisling, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Am going stark raving mad.

    Aisling (Ireland)
     
  2. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    First of all... BREATH.

    Now. Tell us what's up. Loads of us here to listen.
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,683
    Salford
    Come on and spill the beans Aisling (always liked that name) we're here to listen.
    K
     
  4. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    Hello Aisling. I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed. Is it possible for you to listen to some music? My favourite music always helps me when I feel that way.

    I hope you start to feel better very soon.

    Big big hugs xxx
     
  5. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Hi Aisling. Very sorry that you are going through such a tough time. Sending a huge cyber hug, wish I could do more. Hope things settle down a little so you can get some rest.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  6. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    290
    London
    Hello Aisling,

    Welcome to my world! When I'm feeling particularly crazy i sing Wham's freedom at the top of my voice with my own versus and lyrics, always suited to my current situation but always involving dementia. My other favourite song to sing at the top of my voice is by Alanis Morissette. Isn't it Ironic, don't you think?!

    Also nothing but nothing beats a good tantrum. An unpaid family carer for persons with dementia need to let off steam somehow.

    Finally this is a storm and like all storms it will pass.

    Take care xxx
     
  7. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you all very much. I don't think I can continue to mind Tim any longer. Getting no sleep. He is up and down from bed. Talking to himself and walking...walking...
    Have moped up bathroom many times since 8oclock. Am under duvet typing. He resists any help I try to give him and if that sister of his gets in my face asking questions I won't be responsible for my actions. He is now walking round bed looking for sum thing. I have no idea.

    Am taking him to doctor tomorrow if I have the energy. Aisling
     
  8. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    So sorry Aisling xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I can't imagine how stressed you must be xxxxxxxxxxxx

    I think that your trip to the doc is a really good idea - hopefully he will help with some meds which will bring this situation down a few notches and allow you some breathing space.
    Perhaps respite for a couple of weeks would be a good option? Just a thought - or perhaps sister would like to come and stay to give you a break but if she is anything like my lot that won't be an option - very nasty words come to mind xxxxxxxxxxxx
    Thinking of youx
     
  9. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you. Sister only calls odd time with her husband whenever it suits and then follows me around asking questions? How is he apart from his Alzh?? None of his family who live nearby even call to our house just the nosey sister and my patience is running out with her.

    He is getting a weeks respite on 8th Feb and I know this is dreadful but I wish it was tomorrow.

    Aisling
     
  10. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    Do go to the doctor. And if for any reason you can't take him then ring and ask for a phone consultation and tell the doc EVERYTHING that has been happening and ask for help.

    Disregard SIL. If she is not there 24/7 then she has no idea. Maybe you using your phone to film the difficult times would give her some concept of what you are having to deal with but I understand if you'd rather not do that.
     
  11. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Good I'm so pleased you have respite booked. It isn't long now even though it seems forever but I hope you have got a few little things booked for yourself - you really need some treats xx
    Hopefully the doc will prescribe something to help tomorrow and you will start to feel a bit better.
    Re the sisters to be honest I don't think anyone understands dementia until they live with it. But we all do and we are here to support you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  12. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,683
    Salford
    I finally cracked 3 weeks ago today, here's a link to the thread
    http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?89276-Kevinl-that-was-a-week-to-remember
    I went to visit today (as I do every day) and much though I hate to admit it we're both in a better place than we were before. How a "better place" can be defined as my wife being sectioned in a secure hospital and me rattling round the house with nothing to do but drink too much could be called a better place I don't know, but we are both a better off, could you make a call and ask for help like I did?
    K
     
  13. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    Thank you am going to tell doctor whole story tomorrow.
     
  14. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland

    Hi everyone. A million thanks for helping me so quickly.you are all angels. Am going to take him to kitchen now and make tea as he wont get into bed,wants to go home and is now trying to move furniture around.
    Am signing off for the night. Keep me in your prayers please.

    Aisling
     
  15. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,683
    Salford
    Don't come away with empty promises of help that doesn't exist, a promise of future, appointments to some clinic or a pile of leaflet. Make things change right there and right then. Refuse to take him home if you have to but do not let them fob you off with some old guff. You sound like you're too close the edge and so it's time to step back, don't just tell the doctor his story tell him yours too They have to help both of you not just him, pushing it back to you isn't an option.
    Good luck and be strong.
    K
     
  16. sunlover

    sunlover Registered User

    Dec 6, 2011
    54
    As a Irish lady go to Doctors lay it on thick you need serious help,let us know how you get on!In our prayers!
     
  17. Ellaroo

    Ellaroo Registered User

    Nov 16, 2015
    161
    Liverpool
    Each stage of this awful disease is a challenge. I can see my mum heading this way the way her verbal abuse is increasing despite it being peppered with perziods of tiredness and normality.
    I appreciate respite and knowing when next one is marked on calendar gives me anticipated relief. I focus on respite date and say to myself on 18 february i wont be an arsehole, retarded idiot, lazy ******* ..... Mums comments to me .
    It is amazing the warmth from comments made on this forum and have helped me so much.
    Sometimes when youve had a sleep , things are still bad but you seem to Be able to cope better.
    Big hugs xxxxx
     
  18. Ash148

    Ash148 Registered User

    Jan 1, 2014
    276
    Dublin, Ireland
    Aisling,

    Many Irish GPs are in denial about dementia. But, you always have the option of calling the emergency services if you're home alone with T and cannot cope with his challenging behaviour. Once in hospital, you will get the help you need. Am sending you a PM.
     
  19. Alicenutter

    Alicenutter Registered User

    Aug 29, 2015
    560
    Massachusetts USA
    Aisling. I'm sorry that you are going through all this. That's all I can say really. Please get some help. Lots of love.
     
  20. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    I hope you've had some help today. Please don't let yourself be fobbed off with responses of "well, you've got respite booked next week, so there's only a week to get through" :eek: We all know another minute can seem like an eternity when you're at breaking point.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.