Anyone been refused respite care?

AztecCamera87

Registered User
Mar 12, 2019
204
0
I wrote a very long post, and then realised it was far too long and rambling, sometimes it's certainly best to walk away before venting....

I just wanted to know if your council has refused you respite care? And if so what options are available? I was told my sister can cover me, and that it's not in my dads wishes to spend any time in a care home (he spends most evenings asking me when are we going home, but hey ho). As you may know i've been working from home since March, which is proving tougher and tougher...
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
5,259
0
High Peak
They should not be saying that. Social Services have duty of care, not you or your sister.

If you asked for respite it's because you need respite. Phone them back. Tell them neither you nor your sister can do this anymore and insist on respite. You might mention you are about to walk out and that she will be vulnerable and at risk.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Im assuming that the SW assessed him for respite and then asked him whether he would be willing to go into respite to give you a break and he said no (like they all do).
Unfortunately, if this happens. SS will not go against their wishes unless they are at risk of harm from others, or at risk of harming themselves or others.


Ill put my soap box away now before Im tempted to get up on it.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
I had the same reaction a couple of weeks ago, mum refuses to go and Adult Social Care said they couldn’t force anyone.
 

AztecCamera87

Registered User
Mar 12, 2019
204
0
Thanks for the replies, I'm thinking of just trying to go private and direct to a local care home which looks pretty good. I have some savings, and can afford a couple of weeks. Seems like it would be the easiest route, even if not the most ideal...
Edit: things may change, as im having to go back to office in two weeks for 2-3 days a week, may just end up providing a bit of respite anyway. As long as i can get the district nurses back in....
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
Thanks for the replies, I'm thinking of just trying to go private and direct to a local care home which looks pretty good. I have some savings, and can afford a couple of weeks. Seems like it would be the easiest route, even if not the most ideal...
Edit: things may change, as im having to go back to office in two weeks for 2-3 days a week, may just end up providing a bit of respite anyway. As long as i can get the district nurses back in....

I had a stressful job, as I thought but now it would be respite. Hope you get something sorted soon
 

Veritas

Registered User
Jun 15, 2020
315
0
Im assuming that the SW assessed him for respite and then asked him whether he would be willing to go into respite to give you a break and he said no (like they all do).
Unfortunately, if this happens. SS will not go against their wishes unless they are at risk of harm from others, or at risk of harming themselves or others.


Ill put my soap box away now before Im tempted to get up on it.
But what if the respite is to prevent carer burnout? I'm not sure SS could get away with taking this line in that case - I appreciate they'll try to, but when push comes to shove...

This really does highlight that old chestnut of who the respite is actually for!

Feel free to pull out the soap box, I'm sure you've got cogent things to say and I'm too new here to have heard it yet :)
@AztecCamera87 if you are going back to work SS will have to get themselves organised; they are not entitled to assume you will pack in the job to be a full-time carer, and they will not get away with assuming the district nurses will pick up the slack. If your father is not self-funding there is no earthly reason why you should have pay for his respite out of your personal funds, but if it is his money you'd be using, fair enough - I assume you have POA etc.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
But what if the respite is to prevent carer burnout?
SS do not consider the carer to be their client, so their only brief is whether the PWD is safe and not at risk. Because of the care act, if the PWD says no, then SS will not insist as even people without capacity have the right to have their wishes respected. Once the carer actually reaches carer burnout, of course, everything changes and then the PWD is at risk, so even if they still say no, their wishes can be overridden. This is a very short-sighted approach, but carers do not have any rights, only the person with dementia does.

Ill put the soap box away again, before I lose my restraint.
 

Veritas

Registered User
Jun 15, 2020
315
0
SS do not consider the carer to be their client, so their only brief is whether the PWD is safe and not at risk. Because of the care act, if the PWD says no, then SS will not insist as even people without capacity have the right to have their wishes respected. Once the carer actually reaches carer burnout, of course, everything changes and then the PWD is at risk, so even if they still say no, their wishes can be overridden. This is a very short-sighted approach, but carers do not have any rights, only the person with dementia does.

Ill put the soap box away again, before I lose my restraint.
You're clearly speaking from personal experience, where I am not (yet...). When you say carers have no rights, they do have a right to a needs assessment - though it seems your experience suggests that these are in effect meaningless?
 

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