1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Anybody with experience of Ind. Mental Capacity Advisors? TOLATA?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Boldredrosie, Mar 5, 2015.

  1. Boldredrosie

    Boldredrosie Registered User

    Mar 13, 2012
    244
    Hi there
    wondering if anybody has any advice or experience with Independent Mental Capacity Advisors?

    In brief, in the house I live in with my teenager and my mother, who has moderate/severe dementia was bought by me, my dad and my mum ten years ago. At the time I did not know she had dementia (although I think my dad may have suspected something) although she's always been difficult and suffered both mental health & physical health problems. In hindsight it was one of the singularly most stupid things I could have done. Anyway, we are where we are and that place is that I simply cannot cope with living & caring for my mother any longer.

    I've tried to get her support, use respite care etc but as she refuses to accept any help and the social workers have decided she's got capacity so is entitled to refuse a care package. I am totally out of ideas of how to free myself and my son of this awful situation & get the support for my mum she needs and deserves (I don't think she's changed her knickers in more than a month).

    So I'm looking at the 'nuclear' option namely selling the house. I've taken some legal advice and the best option seems to be the following. Apply under the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 for permission to sell the house. I own a third and since Daddy died Ma owns two thirds. Ma then appoints her own solicitors and engages an IMCA to protect her interests. I have PoA for her financial affairs and the solicitor believes that while selling the house my be in my mother's interests, I could be seen to have a conflict of interest because of my share of the house. I want to do what's right for all three of us.

    I feel that if the house goes on the market, then perhaps social services and the doctors will actually address the fact that she's really, really deteriorating and needs proper support to live out the last years of her life in comfort and companionship, not in a house with a daughter and grandson who've lived with this situation for so long we're both now bonkers and totally beyond caring for her. As the kids would say: "I'm over it."

    So, has anybody used an IMCA? Had to use TOLATA? If so would you mind sharing your experiences? Do send me a direct message if it's not the sort of thing you want on the msg board.

    Thanks
     
  2. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    I don't believe in a million years a court will force an elderly woman with some doubt as to her capacity out of a house she owns two thirds of, no way.
    If you look at the procedure you have to go through, write to here give her 30 days to write back, go to arbitration and so on before you can even go to court.
    The only people that will get rich are the lawyers and you will both need them and as I said I don't believe you have a hope of succeeding. You may well find in your Dad's will you inherited your share on the condition your Mother could remain there for life, that too would need to be overturned. Are there no other options?
    K
     
  3. Boldredrosie

    Boldredrosie Registered User

    Mar 13, 2012
    244
    No, there were no conditions in my Dad's will about her getting to live out her days in the house. I can see on face value that it might seem harsh but also I can't see under what criteria a court would *force* one person to live in a house they no longer wanted to live in, with people they didn't want to live with. Especially when there are alternatives for all residents.

    Thanks for the post tho, the more opinions/info I get, the more ideas I have for resolving a situation that doesn't work for anyone.
     
  4. opaline

    opaline Registered User

    Nov 13, 2014
    182
    I'm in a similar position to you insofar as my daughter and I have always lived with my mum in her wholly-owned house. My daughter recently moved out (she's 24) as she simply can't handle the situation any longer (lucky her!), my problem is if/when Mum has to go into a home (she was diagnosed with Alzheimers last July) I will then be homeless as her house would then have to be sold to pay for her care! I work full-time but don't earn enough to buy a property and private rents are astronomical in our area. Sorry, I didn't even know you could get an independent assessment, Mum was assessed in hospital after a fall, hope someone comes along that can help, x
     
  5. pippop1

    pippop1 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2013
    518
    So, let's say you were to move out, your Mother would owe you one third of the cost of renting out the whole house. You could use this money to pay rent on another place for yourself and your son.

    You would give notice to Social Services (let's say a few weeks' notice) that you would be moving out and that after that time you were not responsible for your Mum and that they would have to take over. (obviously this would be v difficult for you).

    I wonder if they would then decide that she did not have capacity to live alone and that things would get moving that way?

    It's a little less drastic than selling the property I think.
     
  6. chewplop

    chewplop Account on hold

    Mar 5, 2015
    12
    #6 chewplop, Mar 5, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 6, 2015
    response to opaline

    Just wanted to let you know that if you have been living with your mother in her home and have no other home to move to the Adult Services would most likely disregard your mother's property. Assuming she has less than £23250 in liquid assets they would support in the funding of any future care placement.




     
  7. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    There is a thing called "discretionary disregard" where the council can disregard the house if you've been acting as a carer and have no other home. You may qualify for that, it's worth reading up on just in case.
    K
     
  8. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    If you chose to move out I can't see how legally you could charge rent even if you cited her "unreasonable behaviour" as the reason you had to go.
    Imagine the scene your husband comes home and says "Darling I'm leaving you for someone dimmer and slimmer so from now on you owe me £500 a month for renting my half of the house". I think not, anyway here is no mention of a mortgage but if there is that would still have to be paid when one person leaves.
    I hate shooting down other people's ideas and not coming up with anything positive, all I can think is sit it out and get her in a home ASAP, tell the council she needs help and you're not able to do it and see what happens.
    K
     
  9. Boldredrosie

    Boldredrosie Registered User

    Mar 13, 2012
    244
    There is a mortgage in both our names, which I pay. Moving out to rent would be ruinous to me. Also, the bank is unlikely to transfer the mortgage to my mother because of her age & income. This means that the mortgage would continue to be my responsibility therefore any landlord doing a credit check would question if I could afford rent & a mortgage. Believe me, I've looked into leaving her in the house but can't see how we can do it.
    But regardless of selling the property or not, does anybody have experience with Independent Mental Capacity Advocates?
     
  10. opaline

    opaline Registered User

    Nov 13, 2014
    182
    Thanks for that, Chewplop, Boldredrosie, have you had a carers assessment done? x
     
  11. Boldredrosie

    Boldredrosie Registered User

    Mar 13, 2012
    244
    Yes, a while back. I asked for a new one to be done but was told that "no longer being able to cope" wasn't reason enough to be reviewed
     

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