And Life is suppose to go on
Hi all, I've just joined talking point. My mum is 60 and was diagnosed with AD in Oct 2001. As many the signs were there but we failed to spot them. In the June my Dad had a mini stroke, which at the time we were led to believe also damaged his short term memory. It's only been since Jan this year that we now know he has Vascular Dementia.
My mum's condition deteriorated in Nov, she was having spells of anxiousness, frustration, hallucinations, etc, this resulted in her spending 5 weeks in a mental health unit, which was horrendous. Having been in for only 4 days she had a serious fall, black her eyed, cuts and bruises. The incidents continued until we pushed for her to come home. Unfortunately that didn't last for long, but at least she had Xmas at home with the family. In early Jan, my Dad who since the Vas. Dem. progressed turned to Alcohol, he wasn't able to look after mum properly and also failed to see what help she needed.
The team involved felt it would be best for my mum to go into care. She spent 4 weeks in respite until a suitable home was found by ourselves. This in itself is a horrendous task, I can't believe in this day and age we allow people to live in these situations. We found what we believed to be the best home, but when you actually see things close up, you question whether you have done the right thing. We have our review at the end of this month to decide if this is the right home for her. Let's hope it works out.
My brother isn't coping with the situation and was adamant his mum was not going into a home, but like everybody else we feel we couldn't do everything for her at home, especially when Dad was causing more problems rather than helping. As it stands life isn't that much easier knowing she has care 24-7 as you wonder if she is really alright, Dad harrasses us 24-7 asking the most trivial questions and is most often than not quite horrible in his attitude. At the end of the day we have to remember its not really him but the Vas Dem.
I was never aware of how horrible both diseases were and to watch both our parents slowly disappear is hard, I'm so jealous of my friends who have parents who are fit and well. It's even harder when I visit my mum and she puts her hand to my cheek, it just makes me melt inside and I wish I with all my life I could make her better. I don't want her to suffer and end up like the other people in the home where she is.
We all need to stick together to fight this cruel, cruel disease and ensure that society knows what this life is like. Too often the systems take advantage of us and drive us to despair.
Sorry for the rambling but as you can tell I have a lot on our chest and have held onto it for so long.