any support for older carers ?

[oliviax]

hi im new to this but my granddad is on his late stages of dementia, their isnt a single thing he can do for him self, he cant even talk
everyones finding it hard but my nan is the person who is caring for him as he still lives with her, she has completely changed and has started becoming angry towards him and has said some awful things, we are finding it hard to help as she is very stubborn and is reluctant to have any help other then from my mum and dad even though she isnt in the best condition herself, shes very depressed and crys and shouts all the time she is also very embarrassed by my grandad, i am worried she will get worse and may start doing things she will regret when his time comes....is their any charities or groups that can help? she needs a brake and also needs to cope better as she acts as if she hates him now.
any advice will be appreciated
olivia x

 

[Linbrusco]

This is a worry for me also.
Mum 74 has moderate Alzheimers and Dad 77 has Cognitive impairment.
They live in their own house behind ours.

Dad has rejected home help.
He has rejected going to a Carers Group for men in case he knows someone and in any case does not wish to discuss things with strangers.

Due to his cognitive impairment he does not understand Mums Alzheimers at all.
He has no coping skills or strategies.
I had our Alz Key worker out to see him. It was all last minute and spring on him so he had little choice. After talking to him about the changes in Mum, she said the only person that can change is himself. She left him with info on Alzheimers and that he can ring her any time for a chat. He was good for the rest of that day.

The next day it was back to arguing with Mum about the latest thing she had forgotten to do and tellng her off when she had said the same thing to me several times.
He can be verbally nasty to her. But Mum does get her own back saying the most awful things but only because of her Alzheimers. Not something she would normally say.
I'm the referee, and needless to say I have had to tell my Dad off so many times.

In my experience respite from each other is the only thing that you can do but in your case with your Grandad being in late stages and still at home, I'm not sure what can be done other than more home help.
Easier said than done.....