Any point in getting dressed?

mrsapple

Registered User
Feb 4, 2013
49
Northumberland
Mum is in end stage vascD, totally immobile, needs hoisting, doubly incontinent and unresponsive in every way. She's now developed several stage 2 pressure sores and has an air wave mattress, with a two-hour turning regime. Staff at the CH put her back into bed - fully clothed - for two hours after breakfast and two hours after dinner every day, and she never looks very comfortable - trousers all bunched up, sweating with woolly jumper on etc. I know I could never rest in bed fully clothed and can't imagine it will be any better for her. Getting her dressed in any case is very difficult as she is rigid and resistant. I am thinking it would be better to leave her in her nightie and dressing gown all day - she could just have a throw over her knees when she's in her wheelchair in the lounge or dining room. I can envisage the usual 'loss of dignity, trying to keep things normal' type of response from the CH, but mum has gone way beyond this now and just needs to be comfortable. Any thoughts would be much appreciated!
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,012
Scotland
Would it be possible to have a long Day gown to keep up appearances then a loose nightgown for sleeping. It seems a fuss but maybe it helps to sort day from night.
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
Even before she was ill, my mother wore long kaftans around the house. When she went into sheltered housing she used them even more.
 

Fastwalker

Registered User
Apr 27, 2010
178
Tyne and Wear
The home my mum is in put her in her nightie with a cardigan and a colourful throw on her legs. It isn't obvious that she is not dressed and she doesn't have to have the added distress of being dressed.

Hope you get your mum to be more comfortable.
 

PeggySmith

Registered User
Apr 16, 2012
1,683
BANES
While MIL isn't quite there yet, I've been wondering about this ever since the day I visited and found her fully dressed but in bed. Kaftans seem to be a thing of the past around here but I like the idea of a nightie and a cardi with a throw. MIL also has a couple of bed jackets as her dressing gown became impossible to manage. I wonder if I should try and find some "smarter" ones?
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
While MIL isn't quite there yet, I've been wondering about this ever since the day I visited and found her fully dressed but in bed. Kaftans seem to be a thing of the past around here but I like the idea of a nightie and a cardi with a throw. MIL also has a couple of bed jackets as her dressing gown became impossible to manage. I wonder if I should try and find some "smarter" ones?
I actually made some for Mummy, because I couldn't find them anywhere. They're pretty easy to make
 

PeggySmith

Registered User
Apr 16, 2012
1,683
BANES
As I'm dyspraxic making is probably not a good idea. I love the ones loveahug suggests but - crikey - yes, they are expensive.
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,291
SW London
At the stage you describe, I wouldn't have thought it matters two hoots whether your mother is 'properly dressed' or in her nightie. She should be wearing whatever is most comfortable for her. Maybe the staff think they 'ought' to get her properly dressed. If it were me I think I would tell them it REALLY does not matter.
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,942
North East England
My Mum always wore a nightie....now she wears PJs, soft cotton jersey ones. She can wear them in or out of bed....and her dignity is covered.:) Sometimes she decides she wants to wear them all day, otherdays she has her clothes on.
I order hers online... pm if you want the address but Bon Marche on the high streets sell some and some nice fleece bed jackets too. I can recomend goolgling ladies long sleeved jersey pyjamas.

I would tell the Care home that you do not wish Mum to be dressed unless she asks for it. She does not need the distress.( and neither do you!!)
 

meme

Registered User
Aug 29, 2011
1,953
London
I would get her a new posh warm dressing gown and leave her in what is most comfy...
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,515
Chester
I work in Liverpool, so when colleagues drop their children at nursery, there are other non working mums (WAGS) still in their nightclothes.

Not sure if it is a Merseyside phenomenon but plenty of people seem to nip to corner shops still in nightclothes.

My mum only gets dressed to go to lunch where she is now (sheltered extra care).
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
70
Durham
I work in Liverpool, so when colleagues drop their children at nursery, there are other non working mums (WAGS) still in their nightclothes.

Not sure if it is a Merseyside phenomenon but plenty of people seem to nip to corner shops still in nightclothes.

My mum only gets dressed to go to lunch where she is now (sheltered extra care).
I hate to see people out in their nightwear, how long does it take to put clothes on!!! we are in a square of mainly elderly people and a few young ones. it is alway the young ones sitting on the step in the afternoon in their dressing gowns smoking and watching the kids play, they even come out to the chip van at lunch time, I don't think this has anything to do with an elderly, ill, lady in a care home, of course she want's to be comfortable mrsapple and I don't see any point in her having to get dressed, she will be well covered in nightie or pyjamas and a dressing gown or cardigan, and as someone suggested a nice cosy throw over her knees , I would suggest this to the staff if I were you,
 

mrsapple

Registered User
Feb 4, 2013
49
Northumberland
Thanks everyone for your advice and info. All very much appreciated. Mum is not able to ask for anything now, in fact doesn't speak at all. I've spoken to CH Senior and told her I intend to get some slightly longer nighties, a couple of smart bed jackets and some fleecy throws, so they won't need to get her dressed any more. The Senior seemed quite relieved and said they had been having a real struggle getting her dressed and changing her throughout the day. Mum's in the dementia unit of a residential CH, and there are often more mobile residents wandering round half dressed (or less) - at least mum should be decent!
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,036
70
Durham
Thanks everyone for your advice and info. All very much appreciated. Mum is not able to ask for anything now, in fact doesn't speak at all. I've spoken to CH Senior and told her I intend to get some slightly longer nighties, a couple of smart bed jackets and some fleecy throws, so they won't need to get her dressed any more. The Senior seemed quite relieved and said they had been having a real struggle getting her dressed and changing her throughout the day. Mum's in the dementia unit of a residential CH, and there are often more mobile residents wandering round half dressed (or less) - at least mum should be decent!
That sounds good, I'm pleased they agree,