1. rache3185

    rache3185 Registered User

    Aug 3, 2006
    12
    East Yorkshire
    Morning all, hope everyone coping as well as can be expected. Haven't been on talking point for some time, things have been pretty calm over the last few months.

    Dad insists on getting up at 7.30 everyday if not earlier and then promptly goes down stairs and falls asleep in the chair for most of the morning ! Problem mum is having, is, thru the night, dad is very restless and insists on sleeping horizontally across the bed, when (if) he settles. Mum tries to get dad to go for a walk during the day, or potter around the garden if it's nice, but she finds it very difficult to get him to do anything, so excercise thru the day to try and encourage sleep is getting harder and harder ! She is wondering about getting 2 single beds so that there is less room for dad to be confused in, he has very little spacial awareness, but if she does go down this route, it feels like another chapter is closing, has anyone any advice or previous experience on this matter would be greatly appreciated

    Cheers

    Rach
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,875
    Kent
    Hello Rach.

    So good to hear you`ve been having a run of calm. What a wonderful word , calm . :)

    Sleeping patterns are very hard to moderate. It seems to be a viscious circle. Because your father is restless at night, he is still tired in the morning, and because he sleeps during the day, he`s restless at night.

    We went through a period where I was considering either twin beds or even seperate bedrooms, but adjustment in my husband`s medication has solved the problem.

    Is your father on any medication for depression or anxiety? Splitting the dose of my husband`s anti-depressants has helped a lot.

    If not, would your mother consider asking the GP for a mild sedative, short term, just to try to regulate his body clock?

    I sympathize so much with your mother. She is clinging for dear life to keep things as `normal` as possible for as long as possible.

    This `sleeping across the bed` is so puzzling. Perhaps if your father were encouraged to get into bed from the bottom, instead of the side, he would end up in the correct position.:confused:

    Take care xx
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Rach, I can sympathise with this problem, I have had several months of it, and it's exhausting. The one good thing about John being in hospital is that I've caught up on some sleep, and feel more able to cope.

    I don't know if there is a solution, I never found one. John and I used to walk, but he'd come back and fall asleep in the chair!

    I've tried tranquillisers, but they didn't have ant effect at all. I didn't try heavy sedation, that's not a route I thought it appropriate to go down.

    I really think it's another phase of the disease. All sense of time is lost, and even the fact that it's dark doesn't make the sufferer realise that it's time to sleep. Day and night don't exist any more.

    I tried sleeping in a separate room, but that didn't work either. John just kept getting up to look for me. Even though I showed him where I'd be, he still went downstairs and prowled the house looking.

    I'm sorry if this is discouraging. If anyone can come up with a solution that works, I'd be delighted. It's so hard to be patient when all you want to do is sleep. It's a difficult phase to cope with, and the reason many people end up in care. At least the care workers can sleep at the end of their shift!

    Love,
     
  4. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    I think you hit the nail on the head regarding his sleeping across the bed. He may no longer automatically be able to figure what is up and what is down.

    A test the neurologist did for my Jan was the classic 'close your eyes then touch your nose' one. It is a good way to check spatial awareness.

    To this day I walk around the house in pitch darkness overnight [if I'm up of course] because I want to be able to detect at once, any loss of my own spatial awareness.

    I think it is worth trying the single beds route.

    good luck
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    My mother has single bed that has to be against the wall other wise when try to lay down she fall out on the other side as she try to lay down , I find her sometime with her head up against the wall , I have to sit her down on bed so that she lie the right way I have read on TP that does happen.

    Also my mother wake up early every morning then just falls asleep in chair.

    I found what help my mother sleep at night time was going to day center , because other wise she just sit in chair , does not want to walk around or even go into the garden then would be awake in the middle of the night or be up for 4-am .

    Twin beds sounds like a good idea.
     
  6. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hi Rach
    I know exactly where your mum is coming from. It does seem like you have closed another door. After struggling for a long, long time with my own lack of sleep I took the decision to let Lionel have the double bed we had shared. I moved into the second bedroom (which did have twin beds).

    He flourished in the large bed on his own............he did not seem to miss me, or the closeness that we had once shared..........and yes I eventually settled down to sleeping ralatively undisturbed (but thats another story)

    I supposed what I am trying to say is that maybe mum should consider, if only to get the sleep and rest she needs to enable her to cope with dad.

    So sorry that this is looming for them, but very glad that they have had some calm lately.
     
  7. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Hi Rach, just to focus on daytime issues rather than the nighttime logistics, I find there is a huge difference in mum on the days she attends daycare or has her buddy coming. Those mornings I usually find her alert and quite animated. She is an early riser every morning, but unless she has something 'happening' that day, I will find often find her catnapping and still in her nightie later in the morning. I'm afraid I put her constant 'snoozing' through the day down to simply boredom and lack of stimulation.

    Is there any chance of dad attending a day centre? (Mum was very reluctant to try at first but absolutely loves it now). The one she currently attends run by our local Age Concern allow carers to go along too. It might be helpful to your mum to either have a much needed break maybe to catch up on her own sleep - or to get out and about herself?

    Love, Karen, x
     
  8. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #8 Margarita, Sep 18, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2007
    your right about that karen your mother sounds the same as my mother when you say
    even thought my mother further down the road in her journey .... that if she does not have anyone coming in to dress/ wash her she just sleep all day just waking for food , mum now need content simulation , because I find she can not find it in herself to do it for herself, even if she wanted to , never thought that day would come that she would get like that.
     
  9. rache3185

    rache3185 Registered User

    Aug 3, 2006
    12
    East Yorkshire
    thanks

    thanks for your help, have relayed this too mum (who has now decided she would like to get technical and go "on line ") she has been considereing the day care and the CPN is helping on this front, again it's one of those things you try to put off as you feel your letting partner down, but I think mum is now ready to go down this route. Thank for all your help, as soon as mum's on line i'm sure she will be on talking point, its a great help knowing there are other people out there !:)

    Rach
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,875
    Kent
    Dear Rach.

    It will be brilliant if your mother comes on line. It will give her such a boost to know she can discuss, off load and get information, as and when she chooses without having to ask you.

    Please don`t think I`m rubbishing you, you know I`m not, but it will help your mother so much to be able to access TP first hand.

    Take care xx
     

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