1. Sueb

    Sueb Registered User

    Aug 4, 2005
    2
    Berkshire
    Some of you may have experienced this before but I would appreciate any ideas you might have.
    I've not posted here before so sorry if this is a bit long. My Dad was diagnosed in January, but he's never really accepted it. Has had memory problems for about the last 3 years but finally went tto doctors who referred him to hospital in January. He's now on medication (which he sometimes forgets to take) He said that his house was too big for him to manage and never saw anyone during the day. My brother and I suggested moving to a warden controlled flat where he would have company during the day and its a short walk to the town centre so he wouldnt have to drive (he still does but really shouldnt be). We helped him with all arrangements but he became quite distressed, was taking too long, would pack and unpack boxes, empty and re-fil cupboards. Anyway he had to move out of his house before he could move into his flat. We were due to go on holiday (booked previous year) so suggested to dad that he also have holiday with family abroad. This would mean that we'd know he was ok and that we could paint flat and move his stuff into flat before he came home. He was happy with this and was quite excited about moving into new flat.
    Well he came home from holiday and said that he wanted to emigrate, doesnt like flat, never seen it before, we've dumped him there, its full of old people (he's 80), we have tried to suggest he join some local clubs but he is just not interested. He was always a quiet person, but has recently been swearing and generally being quite stroppy when I try to talk to him. I realise that it's all been unsettling for him but just dont know what I should say to him to reasure him.
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Sueb, we had similar problems when my Mum decided to move. This was, as it turned out, right at the beginning of her dementia. Looking back, I can see now that it was starting, but you don't want to see do you? We just tried to keep pushing the positives, went to the bingo evenings they held (we were the only relatives there so we put our winnings back in the kitty!) I accompanied her to the odd coffee morning and when I was there on an afternoon I tried to get her to come down for the afternoon tea with me. She did start to join in and I think she did settle. Sadly the dementia kept on comin! After two years she came to live with us. I can't think of anything else you can do but to encourage and possibly accompany them at first, it is not an easy one, I do hope he settles soon. Thinking of you, love She. XX
     
  3. Sueb

    Sueb Registered User

    Aug 4, 2005
    2
    Berkshire
    thanks

    thanks for the info. Has been bit of change in last couple of days. We spoke to his memory nurse who went to see him, and he does seem to have settled a bit, he's at least taking an interest in things around him, and the nurse suggested a day centre which he seems keen on, I'm going to take him next week to see what its like - just hope he likes it there.
    Sue
     
  4. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Sue, even if he seems reluctant, it would be a good idea to persevere with the day centre as he will settle in time. Love She. XX
     
  5. storm

    storm Registered User

    Aug 10, 2004
    269
    notts
    Hi Sueb,Its been a major change for your dad andi suppose it was to be expected that he would kick against it but i am sure with time and encouragement he may well settle down i really hope he does.storm
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.