Hello. My OH has vasculair Dementia and was diagnoses about 4 years ago. Recently his behaviour has changed considerably. He no longer goes out of the house and rarely makes it downstairs. He sits in his chair or in bed all day and shows little interest in life. He eats and drinks but only very little, and is losing weight. More worryingly, he gets extremely agitated at night, hallucinating about things I cannot understand, which makes him very angry. He has also recently started to get very confused about toiletting, which often culminates in a flood, or worse, in the bedroom or bathroom. He's not incontinent, just confused, although nothing has changed and he has a commode next to the bed. I do my best but with little sleep and difficulty in leaving him alone I am beginning to lose heart. Help!
any helpful tips on night time agitation and on continence please?
- Thread starter MrsMop
- Start date
Dad has VD too and becomes agitated in the afternoon (immobile).So fortunately he cannot go anywhere.
Dad has occasional bouts of hallucinating but not sure what about.He sees beetles and other things crawling on the floor but I cannot.
I tend to ignore the hallucinations as when I asked I got a mouthful back.
He has now become more incontinent of no2 but wears pull ups .So that helps.
Would he wear pull ups??
What about some respite for you?
Dad has occasional bouts of hallucinating but not sure what about.He sees beetles and other things crawling on the floor but I cannot.
I tend to ignore the hallucinations as when I asked I got a mouthful back.
He has now become more incontinent of no2 but wears pull ups .So that helps.
Would he wear pull ups??
What about some respite for you?
Hello @MrsMop, you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.
My wife has a significant vascular element to her dementia and she too has hallucinations etc at night. A recent change of her antidepressant helped a lot so I think a chat with your GP may help with that and the continence issue. Modifying the toilet seat can also help with aim etc
Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc. There is also a dementia guide and info about home modifications
Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
My wife has a significant vascular element to her dementia and she too has hallucinations etc at night. A recent change of her antidepressant helped a lot so I think a chat with your GP may help with that and the continence issue. Modifying the toilet seat can also help with aim etc
Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc. There is also a dementia guide and info about home modifications
Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
Hullo and welcome to the forums, Mrs Mop.
Sorry there's nothing I can offer to help with your OH's problems. My partner has vascular dementia and hallucinations come and go, I just try to go with the flow and try to reassure her or change the subject though neither is easy.
If it is all getting on top of you and you can't sleep that's another problem. Would he accept a befriending / sitting service where a trained carer would come round to stay with him and give you some space to walk or head round to a friend's house for a nap. A carers assessment and a care needs assessment from Social Services would help you look at options.
Good luck and keep posting as others always have better ideas and experience than I have.
Thanks for the rapid response. The trouble with pull-ups is that they are also pull-downs! He tends to take them off and then just goes wherever he wants. I suspect I shall have to live with it. The hallucinations are getting worse so I will have a word with the GP. I can't get any live-in or local help as we are in the sticks and not many people would manage the personal care which is now necessary, I suspect. We have meals-on-wheels, physios who come to the house twice a week, and twice-daily Community nurses which is something to be very thankful for. I am checking out respire care BUT we live in France, and OH never learnt to speak French, so it's a very big step for him. But if we are to survive I think it's essential as a combination of no sleep and endless mopping takes its toll.
This stage is awful to deal with @MrsMop (your name says it all!)
I found it very difficult to deal with with my dad. He would never believe he was responsible for the mess so in the end I just cleaned it up without mentioning it. I didn’t live with my dad though.
I know some people on here have had some success with catching their man’s urine in either a bucket or a bottle but this means being awake at the time - and quick enough!
My dad had carers who were very good at dealing with the personal care side of things kindly and efficiently- dad hated accepting help from me most of the time - I could understand why.
I bought an electric carpet washer with a hose attachment which dealt with the clean-ups much more efficiently than a cloth and bucket on carpets and soft furnishings.
My dad would also occasionally see bugs on the floor. I dealt with them by stamping on them (even though I couldn’t see them). It kept dad happy although it made me doubt my sanity!
I hope you find Dementia Talking Point a helpful and friendly place, it helped me to survive whatever dad’s dementia threw at us.
Good luck with finding some respite soon.
I found it very difficult to deal with with my dad. He would never believe he was responsible for the mess so in the end I just cleaned it up without mentioning it. I didn’t live with my dad though.
I know some people on here have had some success with catching their man’s urine in either a bucket or a bottle but this means being awake at the time - and quick enough!
My dad had carers who were very good at dealing with the personal care side of things kindly and efficiently- dad hated accepting help from me most of the time - I could understand why.
I bought an electric carpet washer with a hose attachment which dealt with the clean-ups much more efficiently than a cloth and bucket on carpets and soft furnishings.
My dad would also occasionally see bugs on the floor. I dealt with them by stamping on them (even though I couldn’t see them). It kept dad happy although it made me doubt my sanity!
I hope you find Dementia Talking Point a helpful and friendly place, it helped me to survive whatever dad’s dementia threw at us.
Good luck with finding some respite soon.
