Any help re catheter/enlarged prostrate issues for my poor dad?

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by TaraP, Mar 11, 2015.

  1. TaraP

    TaraP Registered User

    Jun 4, 2013
    Hi forum, Not sure if anyone can give any advice but I am struggling with this. A long story cut dad is well on with dementia and in a care home.

    He has a tendency for UI (and has enlarged prostrate), but about 5 weeks ago, he got a bad infection and ended up in & out of A&E every couple of days - they put a catheter in, and he kept pulling it out.

    The infection does not improve & he gets 'No 3 Sectioned' and taken in the local hospital special dementia unit so they can deal.

    He is still pulling the catheter, and still has infection. I can see he is in terrible pain & the doctors keep upping doses on morphine patches, but doing nothing else?

    Poor chap is wearing boiler suits the wrong way round, to avoid fiddling. Urology unit did test when he got to hospital but we are still awaiting results, despite banging the table....

    He cannot stand unaided now, eats really badly compared to 6 weeks ago, and has lost ability to speak any words we can understand (he could speak in the care home, not sentences, but at least words, not slurred).

    it is terrible to see him being treated worst than you would an animal - at least an animal would be put out of its misery. He is really suffering (mum and I can see that from his face & body language) and I have no idea what to do bar shouting more! I don't want to do that and am so stressed and upset.

    regarding a prostate op, the hospital say he is too weak - but it has to be worth a try I would have thought - and possibly stop the suffering either way.

    if anyone has any similar experience or could offer any thoughts, I would be just so so grateful.

    thanks from a very miserable Tara x
  2. Chaucer 1931

    Chaucer 1931 Registered User

    Mar 30, 2014
    Hi Tara,

    I'm so sorry that your poor dad is going through the mill so to speak,
    My mum has had an indwelling catheter for the past few years for urine retention and the problems the catheter has caused and the suffering is unreal,she's tried and succeeded in pulling out a few times,the infections caused by the catheter just being in,has resulted in more trips to A&E,delirium on top of dementia with cannula and iv lines plus catheter have all been ripped out,loss of appetite,you name it,it's happened!
    I asked for the district nurse to put me in contact with a Continence Nurse who works in the community,and she agreed with me that it would be in my mums best interests that the indwelling catheter be removed and instead arrange for district nurses to come once a day to start with to intermittently catheterise-just drain!,my mum.
    It has helped immensely,the agitation and fixation on the catheter obviously isn't there anymore,and although it is an unpleasant daily procedure it has calmed her and on the plus side,at a much less risk of infection and the delirium that goes with it.
    It would be worth asking,and even on the urology outpatient clinics,there should be a clinical nurse who deals with catheters and they could perhaps arrange for your dad something similar to what my mum is having done?
    Hope this may help,there's not much else I can add,but please keep in touch and I hope things get sorted out for your dad soon.
    Take care x

  3. Feline

    Feline Registered User

    Oct 25, 2012
    East Devon
    Catheters, themselves can very often cause infection, personally I would ask for atrial without catheter, and speak with urology consultant even if just a phone call.
  4. Lawson58

    Lawson58 Registered User

    My OH had a procedure done in April last year for an enlarged prostate. He still required a catheter for some time and then it took almost 5 months for him to regain control of his bladder. He remained continent for about the next 4 months but has started having problems again.

    Perhaps you need to discuss this with the urologist because we had no idea that it could take months before the procedure was effective.

    It seems to me that you are in between a rock and a hard place because there doesn't seem to be any easy way out for you.
  5. TaraP

    TaraP Registered User

    Jun 4, 2013
    Thank you

    Hi, Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate you coming back. It helps to know there is actually someone out there with similar problems. And not just us which it felt like.

    I spoke to Urology in the week, but today they have no note of my previous call!! A urology doctor briefly saw him when he was admitted a month ago and said urology did not need to be involved.....Finally after my badgering we have been put forward (by letter) to have an appointment next week to see a consultant in urology.

    I cannot believe in this day and age, consultants have to write to eachother - maybe its just a way to ensure the process stays as slow as possible!!??

    The nurses in the dementia ward he is in are amazing and try their best, but its the doctors who can make the decisions and it seems like a process of going round the circles where dementia does not seem to be taken into account. A letter cannot show suffering of a human.

    Hopefully we will move forward from this hell next week. Thanks again
  6. TaraP

    TaraP Registered User

    Jun 4, 2013
    My dad has died

    For anyone who was looking at this thread, my dad died last week. I am putting a post on the main forum about it with details.

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