I wonder if I could ask for advice please. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when she was 65, nearly 66, she's 71 now. In the last 6-12 months she's gone downhill rapidly. My dad is her 24/7 carer, he has to do absolutely everything for her now. Up to now my dad has refused all types of help, has been desperate to do everything himself, feels like its his duty to do everything, he has always felt like he'd be letting my mom down if he didn't do it. My mom does go to day care twice a week but that's it. Things have got so bad now my dad is physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted, he is constantly saying he cant cope anymore, that he's just going to pack his bags and leave and yesterday he even said he feels like he's going to loose it. Every time the phone rings or I cant get hold of him i'm scared its because something bad has happened. About 4-5 weeks ago we made the devastating decision to look for a care home as we are so scared my dads going to have a breakdown. It has been the hardest decision we have every had to make, one that we certainly haven't made easily or lightly, my dad has never even thought about the idea before cause it was never going to be an option, which just shows how desperate he is now. The problem is with social services, a social worker came out last week, she wasn't a bit interested in my dad, he kept telling her he cant cope and she just kept saying yes you can. She called a couple days later to say they wouldn't authorise a home but my dad can have home help if he wants. My brother has complained cause the situation is far too desperate for that, so her line manager came out today. I am so disgusted with his attitude, he kept saying a care home is the last resort and unlikely to be authorised, he kept trying to put us off my saying how expensive it would be, then he said its the last resort as its too upsetting for the person to be locked up in an institute, his exact words. Then he tried to make out like my sister, brother and myself could do more to help, I have my mom for a few hours on a Monday, with them on a Wednesday and work part time. All 3 of us have young children between 2-11, we do everything we possible can but need to put our children first. We are going to have carers come in twice a day for 6 weeks to assess the situation. I guess my question is can the council refuse a care home even if the situation is desperate? They will be part funding. Thank you and I'm sorry for the long post.