Any advice on delusions, please?

[Nice Debbie]

Hi All
I've just joined the forum in the hope that someone on here can point me in the right direction or at least share their experiences, please.

I've given myself the username 'Nice Debbie' as that's who I am when my mum recognises me. When I'm trying to get help or benefits etc, I'm the 'Not So Nice Debbie'. There are at least three versions of my poor stepdad and they are all constantly in the dog house, especially for 'pretending' to be her husband. I've tried to get advice from her GP about what we can do or say to try and help mum accept that there is only one me and one Mic, but the GP only referred her back to the memory clinic who simply phoned the other day to confirm she does, indeed, believe there are multiple strangers in her house. We're waiting for their letter!

I can't get an appointment with the GP until 6 June, so I've decided to try and connect with a community who've been through dementia with their loved one and may have some tried and tested hints and tips.

Thanks in advance.

Debbie

 

[Muttimuggle]

Hello, there are many more experienced "experts" on here apart from me. I am more of a learner. It seems sad you have to wait so long. The Memory clinic will surely be the ones to offer the most help. I am assuming you haven't had much intervention from them yet? They may offer a Memory Clinic Nurse who will look in, assess and also discuss your combined needs around the situation.
Is she always like this or are the delusions episodic? Sometimes urine infections can make things worse and they don't show up like cystitis but in more confusion. You may well already be aware of that one.
It must be emotionally challenging for you. It is hard to accommodate the personality changes which come with dementia without being scathed yourself...and your stepdad too. It is important to look after yourself emotionally and physically. You will get some lovely support on here.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Nice Debbie.

What you describe sounds like Capgras Syndrome. This link explains it -

Capgras Syndrome in Dementia: Are You a Pretender or the 'Real Mary'?

Capgras Syndrome, or Imposter Syndrome, affects patients with dementia, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia. Here's help in managing Capgras Syndrome symptoms.

healthblog.uofmhealth.org

There’s also an Alzheimer’s Society link that night help -

Delusions, paranoia and dementia

It is common for people with dementia to experience delusions (or strongly held false beliefs), which can also take the form of paranoia. Common delusions include theft or believing loved ones are trying to harm them.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Duggies-girl]

Hi @Nice Debbie sorry that things are so hard for you and your stepdad at the moment. I never had those kind of delusions with dad but I always found it best to just go along with things. You are probably starting to realise that it is very difficult or even downright impossible to convince your mum that she is mistaken because she is positive that she is right and you won't change her mind. Dementia has a mind of it's own and once it has made it's mind up it is well and truly fixed.

I have read of people leaving the room and coming back in as the favoured person with a nice cup of tea but it doesn't always work or you can say that nice Debbie will be back soon and I will keep you company until she comes back.

I am sure that you will get other more helpful answers soon from those who have more experience of this.

 

[Nice Debbie]

Hi @Nice Debbie sorry that things are so hard for you and your stepdad at the moment. I never had those kind of delusions with dad but I always found it best to just go along with things. You are probably starting to realise that it is very difficult or even downright impossible to convince your mum that she is mistaken because she is positive that she is right and you won't change her mind. Dementia has a mind of it's own and once it has made it's mind up it is well and truly fixed.

I have read of people leaving the room and coming back in as the favoured person with a nice cup of tea but it doesn't always work or you can say that nice Debbie will be back soon and I will keep you company until she comes back.

I am sure that you will get other more helpful answers soon from those who have more experience of this.

Thanks, I'll try that one at the weekend!

 

[JHA]

My mom has lewy body dementia and regularly had delusions. She is now in a care home but just before Christmas left her house in the middle of the night as she thought there was someone in her bedroom. Someone saw her standing on the corner of the road just before 1am and the police were called who took her home and rung me then a fun filled week ensued.

Over that week I was apparently a carer that was sleeping on her sofa, her house was an office that she worked in, she went for Christmas lunch at an old colleagues and the food was awful. She would talk to me about me and both my boys had developed doubles to the extent that when she wrote a Christmas card for both of them she signed it with her Christian name rather than nanny as she thought she was sending cards to the doubles who were not her grandchildren.

Since going into the care home her medication has been reviewed and she is on additional tablets occasionally she tells me 'stories' that she has been on the bus etc which I know are not true and the latest obsession is planting potatoes. I just go with the flow I just hope she does not ask for any of the potatoes that I have apparently planted.

 

[DreamsAreReal]

Welcome @Nice Debbie

Are these delusions a new or sudden thing or has it been going on for a while? My PWD would get very delusional and agitated whenever she had an infection (usually a UTI). But if it’s not a new thing, it’s probably just the dementia. Delusions that aren’t bothering her, you can just go along with, if possible. But if the delusions are upsetting her, I don’t know what to suggest except give her reassurance and try to redirect her to something else. Doesn’t always work but worth a try.

Have a look at the Compassionate Communication post in my signature. Not a set of rules, but can be helpful sometimes and gives a little insight.