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Any advice greatly appreciated


Registered User
Jan 4, 2011
Can anybody help please. My dad is currently in hospital and the doctor gave him a discharge date of 20th January. On the 19th of January the hospital social worker had a meeting with me and mum and strongly suggested respite care. the care assessment was done the previous week in which the scoring was high enough to trigger a meeting for NHS continuous funding. We had a meeting with the doctor round about the 15 th of January who said it would be practically impossible for her to continue to look after him at home and suggested he moved to residential care. During the meeting with the social worker she told us he needed EMI nursing care and gave me a list of all homes that offered EMI so his needs would be met. I duly started to phone homes with a view to looking at them. However the social worker is now putting extreme pressure on mum telling her the hospital was pressuring her to move him out. During the first meeting she told us that she would organise a meeting to see if we qualified for continuous care. However yesterday she phoned mum and told her he no longer needed EMi care and standard nursing is all he required. She then told mum that she had found him a home and they were going out to assess him. My mum told her not to bother as the inspectors report was "requires improvement" in all categories. She told her also that as she has more than £25000 she would have to pay for it herself. My mum asked about the meeting to see if he qualified and she said that could take months but you will have to fund it yourself anyway. My question is, is this because respite care is different rules than permanent residential care and is she trying to fob us off by strongly suggesting respite care in order to stop any meeting regarding funding. I did read a thread way months ago regarding funding and different rules applying for respite care which is why I am getting the feeling she is fobbing us off. Can anybody help please. Thankyou


Registered User
Nov 23, 2011
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm in Scotland, so things may be slightly different here but from what you say you are being fobbed off.

My experience is that once the medical team say a patient is ready to be discharged, the nhs will start to charge the social work department for the person's care. And all of a sudden, particularly when patients are self-funding, social workers appear on the scene and tell you "the docs are pressuring me" (err no they're not, social work dept just don't want to be responsible for the bill) and "oh this care home that has lots of spaces will be ideal" (again, to get you to take financial responsibility as soon as possible. They will not suggest a care home with a waiting list.)

If you want to check, ask them to email the situation to you, they'll not write on an email what they'll fib about or exaggerate about when on the phone.

If in doubt, try not to be pressurised in conversation, say something non-commital like "I'll look into that" and try to give the impression that you'll not roll over and accept whatever they say, e.g. you'll check with the medical team why the EMI recommendation has been retracted, etc.

Best wishes.


Registered User
Jan 30, 2016
Don't be pressured.

I have been through a similar situation with a social worker. Please be very careful as guidance is not always as transparent as it should be. I was told in my area that the social workers are 'fined' if they don't sort discharge in a certain amount of days . This inevitably means that the SW is responding to the NHS discharge needs rather than to the wellbeing of the patient. I have been through an awful year battling on my mother's behalf in the care system because of an unprofessional SW.
You must stand your ground and do not accept discharge until you are happy with the care plan. You will not be popular but the wellbeing of the patient is the priority for you.
Obviously not all Social Workers are poor, but the care system is challenging at a time when the patient and relatives are very vulnerable. I hope you achieve as good an outcome as possible in difficult circumstances. My Mum is now in a home where the staff are lovely, caring and supportive. Sadly , mum's dementia is bad now and the problems don't simply go away but at least she is safe and well cared for. Good luck.