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Any Advice Appreciated


Registered User
Dec 18, 2013
Hi All,

I have posted on here before and your answers and opinions have really helped me so I wonder if anyone can help me today with a new issue.

Mum has now been in her care home for 3 months. She had trouble settling and was very agitated, setting off the alarms etc but started to settle after 6 weeks and we had a wonderful couple of months when she seem happy, healthy and content.

Sadly we seem to moving backwards. Mum is agitated again and setting the alarms off but more worryingly she has become very controlling and bossy. She insists on moving other residents and re-seating them where she thinks they should be not understanding that some of these resident cannot be moved for health reasons etc or just simply don't want to be.

What can we do to distract her? We visit once a week so i needs to be something that the home can do when we are not there.

Anyone else been through this?

One step forward, two back!



Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
North West
I can see why this is a worry for you Jayne but I would be asking what the CH are doing about it. They are being paid a large sum of money to look after your mum and you seem to feel that it is your responsibility to solve this problem. It isn't. Of course, any ideas that people here come up with may be worth passing on but I would concentrate on asking the CH how they deal with issues like this. Although everyone is different, they must have to cope with all sorts of behaviour issues on a daily basis and should have a wealth of experience and a whole lot of ideas about how they might deal with the issue.

Even so, I hope and expect you'll get some useful TP ideas.


Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
Hello Jayne and welcome to Talking Point.

Have the care home spoken to you about this as in, we can't cope, upsetting other members of the home or their relatives or they cannot manage her care?

If they have not try not to worry too much. I can't believe they have never come across this behaviour before. It may only last a short while and there will be another troubling behaviour to deal with.

If the home have complained to you then a move, as upsetting as this will be for both of you might be necessary. Some homes are not prepared to care for someone who needs a little more supervision, which is sad because they are paid well to give care.

Hopefully the behaviour will pass and your Mum will settle again. She is just keeping herself busy organising, something us Mums spend years doing:)