Hi I'm Danielle and I'm 31. My nan has Vascular Dementia and my dad got his diagnosis of vascular and Alzheimer's last year afer battling for a diagnosis since 2011. To be honest, juggling helping out with my nan (who has mainly lost memories but can get dressed etc but does hallucinate), providing A LOT of support for my dad (who struggles with the simplest of tskst, wanders and gets aggressive), I'm struggling to cope with my mum's depression too. Without sounding self pitying, I'm finding it difficult to cope. I feel like all of my friends are out enjoying themselves, and that I'm trapped in a life that I feel I'm too young for. Is there anybody else out there in Essex in the same boat? X
Any 30 somethings out there???
- Thread starter Doodles87
- Start date
Are you all living in the same house? I ask because social services can provide different kinds of help which might give you some relief. Starting with your grandma she might be able to be collected and taken to a daycentre to give her company and a hot meal at lunch time. Your Dad might benefit from a Befriender who would either sit with him or go out walking. A care worker could help with morning washing and dressing.
Both of them should be getting Attendance Allowance and of course a reduced cost for council tax. If you ask social services for a needs assessment for them both and a carers assessment for your mother they should send out someone who will advise them on finances and on what help is available. It all takes timeso don't wait.
Both of them should be getting Attendance Allowance and of course a reduced cost for council tax. If you ask social services for a needs assessment for them both and a carers assessment for your mother they should send out someone who will advise them on finances and on what help is available. It all takes timeso don't wait.
Thank you so much that's great. They are currently living with my sister as their builder stole their life savings and made their bungalow so unsafe it got condemned
I'm sorry to hear that your having such a hard time. It might help to use this link to see what support is available near you -
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
Hi Danielle.. in the same boat, being 38 mum mum was diagnosed with FTD dementia 4 years ago.. happy to exchange details if you’d like to talk more privately.
It’s a tough journey and I’ve learnt the hard way but I have a lot of knowledge on this now and know where to go for help.
Jodie
Hi I’m 37, and live with my grandad who has vascular dementia. He’s 94 and was diagnosed in 2015.
During the day grandad is cared for by my mom and a carer that comes to do his meals.
Generally going to work feels like the only ‘normal’ thing I do. The rest of the time I feel guilty about going out so end up either avoiding going anywhere or cutting an outing very short.
I’m in the West Midlands but would really welcome connecting with others in the same boat.
Hang in there everyone x
During the day grandad is cared for by my mom and a carer that comes to do his meals.
Generally going to work feels like the only ‘normal’ thing I do. The rest of the time I feel guilty about going out so end up either avoiding going anywhere or cutting an outing very short.
I’m in the West Midlands but would really welcome connecting with others in the same boat.
Hang in there everyone x
I'm 45 and look after my mum at home,I only get to pop out to the shops for half an hour,I do have a friend that pops to see me and my mum for an hour on his day off on Monday,It will only be a few months until it's warm and I will be be pleased to open the windows and look at a nice blue sky.
I did have a very hectic social life before this and I'm pleased to get away from a lot of the people that I used bump in to in the town
I did have a very hectic social life before this and I'm pleased to get away from a lot of the people that I used bump in to in the town
hi @Doodles87 and @Peanut11
chatting things over and sharing experiences is exactly what TP is here for; maybe best kept to the open forums
might you start a shared thread in the Tea Room, where posts can only be read by members (not guests), then other members can join in at times too but the thread is less public
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/tea-room.44/
chatting things over and sharing experiences is exactly what TP is here for; maybe best kept to the open forums
might you start a shared thread in the Tea Room, where posts can only be read by members (not guests), then other members can join in at times too but the thread is less public
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/tea-room.44/
Ah ok thank you for the tip. I'm new to this and just trying to see how it all works
Hi Danielle, I completely sympathise and feel for you. My Mum was diagnosed when I was in my early 30s (I’m now in my late 30s). I’ve been where you are although now further on as my Mum is now in a care home (although I visit daily). I’ve tried to meet others in the same position as me who are a similar age but have struggled.
I don’t really see my friends very much as I’m always at the home. When I do see them, I just find I don’t have as much in common with them anymore which makes me feel very isolated. They ask how I am and what I’ve been up to…… If I told them the truth of what I’m experiencing I think it would lower the mood!! I share the occasional ‘light hearted’ funny story (when there is one) to make them feel more comfortable. It would be great sometimes just to be able to tell it how it is and have somebody completely understand and empathise!
I'm in London, not Essex but would love to connect with you and others. Take care and know you're definitely not on your own!
x
I don’t really see my friends very much as I’m always at the home. When I do see them, I just find I don’t have as much in common with them anymore which makes me feel very isolated. They ask how I am and what I’ve been up to…… If I told them the truth of what I’m experiencing I think it would lower the mood!! I share the occasional ‘light hearted’ funny story (when there is one) to make them feel more comfortable. It would be great sometimes just to be able to tell it how it is and have somebody completely understand and empathise!
I'm in London, not Essex but would love to connect with you and others. Take care and know you're definitely not on your own!
x
