It's been a while since I posted about my mum but now everything feels more sharp as I'm going back to Wales at the end of the week. It'll be the last time in Mum's house as it is as we have tenants moving in for September. There's still a lot to do and I'm dreading it. When I think of it from a distance it's ok, but being there is so much harder.
I've been reading some of the posts today and I now remember clearly (too clearly?) how hard it was when Mum was living at home. So hard to deal with and organise, especially as I didn't live nearby. I'd speak to her about 4 times a day, liaise with carers,dog walkers, cleaners, befriends and generally troubleshoot. That was hard when working as well! And then at least every 2 months I would come home for 10 days and be part of it all. Dealing with wee problems, deafness and miscommunication. Yet I could still have a cuddle and a laugh with my Mum. But the early morning anxiety would wake me and cast a grey mist over my day. I looked forward to the carers coming in so I could get a perspective on it all.
Mum went in to a nursing home at Christmas. It happened very suddenly and was a shock (though why I don't know!). She had told the staff in the memory clinic day centre she was scared to go home that night so she was whisked off to emergency respite. Four days later I was home and she came home for Christmas. Our last Christmas at home.
Mum has really settled in the home and in some ways I had forgotten how difficult it all really was and I realise that I no longer have to take all of the responsibility and that my Mum is very well cared for and happy.
Reading the posts today just reminded me of what I have been through (realisation at last!) but there is a gap where the anxiety used to be which I hope I don't fill up again when I am at home. It'll be a different sort of worry - I still miss my mum so much but have forgotten how heart wrenching and impossible it could be too. And all of that is part and parcel of how it is now.
I have to finish emptying the house - no mean feat! And yesterday, for the first time, when I spoke to her she asked when I was going to take her home. I know she'll forget that she even said it but my stomach is churning! I thought about which of my friends to ring for support but no-one really understands and receiving platitudes is worse than keeping quiet!
I remember now how helpful Talking Point is. I wish I'd found it when I was dealing with it all pre care home days. Maybe that was denial - I could explain away everything on Mum's behalf and convince myself the memory clinic had made a mistake! But boy, was that stressful!
It feels better to get that off my chest. I'm dreading the next few weeks......
I've been reading some of the posts today and I now remember clearly (too clearly?) how hard it was when Mum was living at home. So hard to deal with and organise, especially as I didn't live nearby. I'd speak to her about 4 times a day, liaise with carers,dog walkers, cleaners, befriends and generally troubleshoot. That was hard when working as well! And then at least every 2 months I would come home for 10 days and be part of it all. Dealing with wee problems, deafness and miscommunication. Yet I could still have a cuddle and a laugh with my Mum. But the early morning anxiety would wake me and cast a grey mist over my day. I looked forward to the carers coming in so I could get a perspective on it all.
Mum went in to a nursing home at Christmas. It happened very suddenly and was a shock (though why I don't know!). She had told the staff in the memory clinic day centre she was scared to go home that night so she was whisked off to emergency respite. Four days later I was home and she came home for Christmas. Our last Christmas at home.
Mum has really settled in the home and in some ways I had forgotten how difficult it all really was and I realise that I no longer have to take all of the responsibility and that my Mum is very well cared for and happy.
Reading the posts today just reminded me of what I have been through (realisation at last!) but there is a gap where the anxiety used to be which I hope I don't fill up again when I am at home. It'll be a different sort of worry - I still miss my mum so much but have forgotten how heart wrenching and impossible it could be too. And all of that is part and parcel of how it is now.
I have to finish emptying the house - no mean feat! And yesterday, for the first time, when I spoke to her she asked when I was going to take her home. I know she'll forget that she even said it but my stomach is churning! I thought about which of my friends to ring for support but no-one really understands and receiving platitudes is worse than keeping quiet!
I remember now how helpful Talking Point is. I wish I'd found it when I was dealing with it all pre care home days. Maybe that was denial - I could explain away everything on Mum's behalf and convince myself the memory clinic had made a mistake! But boy, was that stressful!
It feels better to get that off my chest. I'm dreading the next few weeks......