Anxiety and 'going home' etc

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by looviloo, Jan 8, 2016.

  1. looviloo

    looviloo Registered User

    May 3, 2015
    464
    Female
    Cheshire
    I know there has been a lot of discussion on this topic, but it really struck me this week when I visited dad, that he longs to 'go home'/drive/get on the bus (and so on) when he is anxious. And his level of distress about these subjects seems proportional to the amount of anxiety he's feeling.

    When dad first moved into his care home, he constantly asked to move home again, worried about his car, or said the place was like a prison (which it isn't!). Slowly he's settled and these conversations have got fewer and fewer. But this week the GP visited him and upset the whole meal routine... plus made a very big deal of the consultation... and dad got anxious so the same yearnings came up again. It's understandable when you think about it, but it had never seemed so clear cut before.

    Dad settled down again before I left (he was back to routine!). But he said something he'd never said before, and that was '{my} presence made him feel calmer'. It underlined to me how anxious he must feel at times and how much having a familiar/trusted face there really means.

    Thanks for letting me share :)
     
  2. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Yes you are so right, thank you for sharing. We are really really important to our loved ones and really do make a difference and yet sometimes we feel so powerless xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    There is a saying - Be the rainbox in someones rain cloud. Having your dad tell you that you being there makes him feel safer makes it all worth it. Its good to be there for our loved ones no matter how difficukt it is sometime. Im happy you had that little moment with your dad.
     

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