Hello everyone. Today my darling wife went off to live in a care home. It’s finally happened and the feelings I thought I’d have at this point are nothing like the real thing. I’m hurting big time and everything around me reminds me of the life we had together before dementia. Everyone who’s been involved with our dementia journey says I’ve done the right thing, that I couldn’t have coped on my own anymore and it’s all for the best. BUT that’s no comfort at 4.00 in the morning wracked by guilt and feelings of weakness, I could have done more, all those plans made behind her back and of letting her down. I’m told that now I can get a good nights sleep without interruption. Tell me how I can when I imagine her in a small room away from her home even though she wasn’t really enjoying it at the end. It’s all happened so quickly and I don’t know what to do to make myself feel better. It’s deadly quiet and the house is empty. My wife was and will always be my only love and I’m blessed to know that I found love through her. I once thought I never would. I disliked her at lot towards the end because of all the anxiety and aggression but she gave me 25 years of secure love and I’m afraid I took a lot of that for granted. Dementia is the most evil and hateful condition.