Its been ages since I posted, can't remember when but I was trying to think of somewhere I could reach out for some advice. Mum's been in her care home for over 3 years now, its over 100 away from where I live. I was never sure right at the start if it was the right place for her, circumstances put her there in the first place (respite from hospital) and when COVID hit it wasn't possible to move her anyway.
this care home have kept up the covid restrictions so I hadn't seen her room for over 2 years but on this visit I was allowed to go in (just this once) and was frankly shocked. Her wardrobe was jam-packed full of stuff, not just clothes, lots of things I'd brought for her just shoved in the back of the wardrobe, there were new clothes I'd ordered for her, still in their wrappers, they'd told me they fitted and she liked them (may be too late to send stuff back now).
Then I found clothing that wasn't hers including knickers which was horrific and there was loads of other issues. The communication between the staff and what is supposed to be going on with mum is always vague and they never know anything. I was meant to be having a meeting with the new manager that day but she only had about 15 mins in the end so we will reschedule but it is of huge concern. The other manager left suddenly and now this person has come in and she sounded promising at the start, she wanted to open up the care home more for relatives again and was talking the same language about enriching lives.
I am also deeply concerned about moving my mother at this stage, I remember how it was for her when she first went there and it took a while, she still packs things up every night and doesn't believe she lives there but she is obviously more familiar with the place, the residents and staff. I know a move can be extremely distressing to someone with dementia in fact I read it can hasten their demise, I am so worried about the basics now. I will be having a conversation with the manager but don't even know if I can completely trust her as she seems to be just fobbing me off and saying things she wants me to hear.
I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this but I want to share, to find out how other people are coping with things further down the line with their relative in a care home and any words of advice or support would be so much appreciated. Sorry its such a long post as well. Thank you
this care home have kept up the covid restrictions so I hadn't seen her room for over 2 years but on this visit I was allowed to go in (just this once) and was frankly shocked. Her wardrobe was jam-packed full of stuff, not just clothes, lots of things I'd brought for her just shoved in the back of the wardrobe, there were new clothes I'd ordered for her, still in their wrappers, they'd told me they fitted and she liked them (may be too late to send stuff back now).
Then I found clothing that wasn't hers including knickers which was horrific and there was loads of other issues. The communication between the staff and what is supposed to be going on with mum is always vague and they never know anything. I was meant to be having a meeting with the new manager that day but she only had about 15 mins in the end so we will reschedule but it is of huge concern. The other manager left suddenly and now this person has come in and she sounded promising at the start, she wanted to open up the care home more for relatives again and was talking the same language about enriching lives.
I am also deeply concerned about moving my mother at this stage, I remember how it was for her when she first went there and it took a while, she still packs things up every night and doesn't believe she lives there but she is obviously more familiar with the place, the residents and staff. I know a move can be extremely distressing to someone with dementia in fact I read it can hasten their demise, I am so worried about the basics now. I will be having a conversation with the manager but don't even know if I can completely trust her as she seems to be just fobbing me off and saying things she wants me to hear.
I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this but I want to share, to find out how other people are coping with things further down the line with their relative in a care home and any words of advice or support would be so much appreciated. Sorry its such a long post as well. Thank you