Another newbie!

Mummy's Girl

Registered User
Oct 27, 2006
Hello all...what a wonderful supportive place this seems to be:)

A friend of the family recommended the Society to us (we are a close knit family of 5 siblings jointly caring for our mum). We seem to have been abandoned by all the official people - no hospital involvement or social services - although we have a lovely lady going in every lunchtime to feed mum.

She's still in her own home... and we've sworn to keep her there as long as possible. There seems to have been a rapid deterioration very recently - incontinence, unable to dress (hilarious states we've found her in :eek: ), and going to bed at 5p.m. She's gone from a size 24 to a 12 and we laugh that we will be accused of starving her - if we didn't laugh, we'd cry. We make sure she eats 3 good meals a day and she snacks inbetween too. Is weight loss normal - even though she IS eating? The Gp was just happy she's lost weight and didn't seem concerned. We are concerned as she is getting thinner and thinner before our eyes....

The bad days seem to be outweighing the good now, but we keep smiling.

Mummy's girl


Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
sort of north east ish
Hi mummy's girl ...... welcome. Your mum is very fortunate to have you all. I love your sense of humour in all this. Being able to laugh can get you through an awful lot.

I don't really know about weight loss. I know that a lot of people in various residential places where dad was were very thin (sometimes frighteningly thin) but I've no idea whether they were eating well or not. I'm sure someone else will be along with a more helpful answer soon ......... but I just wanted to say hello :)


Registered User
Oct 3, 2006
Hi Mummys girl. Sounds like you are such a lovely family. It must be great when you can share the burden of looking after your dear mum with brothers and sisters. When my mum started to 'lose herself' and was still living at home...I found it really hard to cope as I have two brothers and no sisters. My brothers couldn't really deal with seeing my mum like that....and I had to cope alone.

Two years later my mum has been in a residential care home...(she is in hospital at the moment) and we are now looking for a nursing home for she is now in the very last stages....and very frail.

Of course I will not tell you that it is going to be easy...get better...or that you wont all have many tears along the way....but the lovely vibe I got from your post is that you are such a close family......which will defantly help whilst caring for your mum. Of course you can still have lots of 'laughs' along the way. My mum is only a shadow of herself...but she still makes me laugh.

Now you have found t/p I hope you will find it as much help and comfort that it has been for me....Iam sure it will. Take care...and best wishes to you and your family. Hope you post again soon to let us know how you are getting on. Love PP xx


Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
Hi and welcome,
Yes weight loss is common. Although my mum blew up put on lots of weight we even had to get special wide shoes and then suddenly the weight dropped of fast. My husband though lost weight straight away although they say its muscle he has lost yet last time at the doc he got weighed and the doc said he was exactly the correct weight for his height (i dont know how as he eats twice the amount i do) He eats a lot more now than when he was working is less active yet has lost around 5 stone.
As for getting help i found you have to fight for it. I'm glad you have all pulled together. My situation is much different.
Your all doing a good job.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
My sisters are a HUGE support to my Mum and also to me (as nearest carer). I can't imagine coping without them. My brother is fairly useless (seems to be the case with a lot of men, sadly) but at least he goes along (mostly!) with what my sisters and I do. Mum has said she feels blessed to have a supportive family as many in her Hostel receive little if any family support.

This is a hard road, even when (like us) you are not caring for the AD patient at home. I'll be thinking of you and sending you good wishes. Nell


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Mummy's Girl

What a lovely positive post! You are so lucky to have your sisters to help you. But you really should get Social Services involved now, if your Mum is incontinent and unable to dress herself, she's going to need support. It's better to put them in the picture and get an assessment, so that you're 'in the system' before you really need them.

As for the weight loss, my husband began to lose wieght immediately -- don't know if it's the disease or the medication. He lost about a stone and a half, then stabilised.

Keep in touch



Registered User
Sep 22, 2006
hi mummy's girl

welcome to TP, i think its great you all taking care of your mum, my mum was eating 3 good meals a day and she went painfuly thin. I just think it is part of the illness as the body stops absorbing nutrients, i know it did with my mum,she was painfuly thin later on in the illness. Take care all of you