another mess up from an outside agency, fed up

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Sooty2, Jun 18, 2015.

  1. Sooty2

    Sooty2 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    30
    If this isn't hard enough but the outside agencies Im dealing with desperately need some educating. Gas board, "we need to speak to the account holder to ask some questions, she wont remember anything talk to me, sorry we cant, sorry mil says youll have to speak to my daughter in law, care company, can you not send the bill here, please send it to my address for me and my husband to deal with, mil rings up iv had a bill from this company wanting money, I DONT HAVE CARE!, blue badge people, can you please send it to me as MIL will lose it, found a receipt in the house for her blue badge which she now cant find, electricity board, we need to talk to the account holder, how many rooms do you have, MIL I don't know, then tried to set up a direct debit with her when we were changing suppliers, care company, if you leave a care plan in the house she wont have you in as she believes she is fine, (weve had to be sparing with the truth about who these people are) so then we find a care plan and bill which MIL is ranting about, should I go on?? So so frustrated!!
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,673
    Female
    South coast
    I know, without PoA/CoP (and sometimes even with it) trying to get people to communicate with you and not the person is impossible.
    Could MIL be persuaded to sign a postal redirection form? At least that way bills etc will come through to you and MIL wont see them.
     
  3. beverrino

    beverrino Registered User

    Jan 12, 2015
    1,111
    it is indeed a nightmare! when my dad passed away - getting names changed over to my mum (who has alzheimers) was terrible. some of these people on the phone are unbelievable. On energy company (I wont name names) would not transfer the account to my mums name - although it was the same bank account and all the same details. They actually wrote her a letter saying my father had left the premises - and welcome to your new home! Talk about confusing someone who is already confused. Makes my blood boil
     
  4. Sooty2

    Sooty2 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    30
    Hi, we have power of attorney but it makes no difference and there is no way shed sign a redirection of post as she scrutinises all of her bank statements and other mail continually, I find it so draining.....
     
  5. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    tell me about it, I know it is all data protection and all that but I hope they have as much trouble one day as we do.
     
  6. ITBookworm

    ITBookworm Registered User

    Oct 26, 2011
    451
    Glasgow
    You don't actually need MIL to sign the postal redirect form - there is a special redirect form for use by an attorney. You could set the redirect up and then only give MIL the post that you are happy for her to see.

    I will have a hunt and see if I can find a link to the redirect form for you.
     
  7. ITBookworm

    ITBookworm Registered User

    Oct 26, 2011
    451
    Glasgow
  8. its a struggle

    its a struggle Registered User

    need a sticky for this!

    Really useful ITB. Many thanks for that. I'll put the link in my "Mum" bookmarks for when we need it in the not-too-distant future.

    Chris
     
  9. Sooty2

    Sooty2 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    30
  10. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,852
    England
    Be aware that Royal Mail sends an acknowledgement of the redirect to the account holder at their home address. You just have to try to intercept that, or have a plausible excuse for the 'mistake'. :rolleyes:
     
  11. pippop1

    pippop1 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2013
    518
    2 years

    And also be aware that the redirection is only permitted for two years in total.

    We did this while MIL was living in her house (OH had POA) and it worked really well. Saved a lot of detective work each week at her house and she still got the leaflets through the door and other bits. In any case she didn't notice that no proper post was received.

    After a year or so she went into a care home and the house is currently rented out. The two years is now up (we were so surprised to get the letter letting us know of the time limit but it was stated on the original form) and odd bits of mail go to her old address and the tenants don't give us the mail.

    We just have to hope for the best as in general our address is the one people use (for bank accounts and so on). No point in sending her anything in the care home unfortunately.
     
  12. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    Despite me telling Mum and Dad's GP that all referrals should have MY mobile number as a contact they STILL put Mum and Dad's landline as the number to call. Dad told me yesterday that someone called 'Alec' had called and was coming on Tuesday morning. Where from? I don't know, I asked her to repeat it but couldn't catch it. Did she leave a number? No. What's it about? Don't know.

    Mum is the one with dementia and I've told Dad SO many times that, if someone calls to make an appointment, just give them my number. But he forgot. I tried to smooth it over as I knew he feels useless and old and incompetent (although he has Vascular Parkinsonism and appears very lucid I think Minor Cognitive Impairment is kicking in now) but we were still left with the conundrum of who is coming on Tuesday... when I cant be there. Luckily I deduced it might be the Incontinence Nurse (who will hopefully approve Mum getting free Inco Pants) and rang up the GP, yes it was.

    But this should never have happened. I am the one they should ring and I have Full Disclosure so why is it an issue? Incompetence, that's why!

    Mum and Dad had a Careline installed after Mum's first hospital stay. It was free for the first 12 weeks, then Bruv and I decided that it should stay. NO WAY would Dad ever pay for it and we knew he would terminate the contract as soon as the facility was billable so, I told Dad that, as the Careline was recommended by the hospital, it was funded by the County Council. A quick call to the Council to explain the situation and ask them to send all invoices to me, plus an advance payment and I thought it was sorted..... Noooo the idiots sent a copy invoice to the installation address!

    I managed to convince Dad it was a mistake and even got one of my more Machiavellian friends to call him up posing as a member of the council to apologise for the erroneous invoice... ah, it seems my devious nature is being called into play again! A bit different to 30 years ago when I used to tell some SHOCKING fibs as to why I'd been out al night....
     
  13. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    While I was at mum's today someone called 'Emma' phoned to set up mum's dementia review. They need her to come to the surgery, she said. I explained that mum isn't well and I can't bring her, she can barely get out of a chair......the GP has been out twice in 10 days and there should surely be lots on her record? No, says Emma, we need her to come to the surgery "because we've got hundreds of these to do and the GPs haven't got time" eek! Mum is by now getting agitated so I say to leave it for now, despite Emma's protestations....

    Later in the car I phone back. First of all, please phone me about these things. What's the point in phoning someone with dementia to arrange a dementia review?!? Second, does this replace her Memory Clinic appointment? Emma has no idea. She says mum is a QPAC ( or similar) patient so we have to do these reviews. Does she know what QPAC stands for? You've guessed it......

    I ended up feeling almost sorry for poor Emma. She sounded like a school leaver who'd been assigned a task way beyond her understanding. It's not good enough, though, is it?

    Er, anyone know what QPAC ( or similar) stands for?

    Lindy xx


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  14. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
  15. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    Thanks.....interesting! ;)


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  16. Bay

    Bay Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    44
    Kent
    I wonder if it was QOF?

    My OH is classified as a QOF patient. It stands for 'Quality of Outcomes Framework' and as far as I can work out it is a way for GPs to tick boxes and get extra funding. Please note this is only my guess work and somebody else may come along with another suggestion/explanation shortly!
     
  17. Sooty2

    Sooty2 Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    30
    I know Lindy, so so frustrating, the lies we have told to pacify an even more paranoid person are endless, weve even gone as far to tell her sheltered housing is free if she gets offered a place as she would not pay!
     
  18. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    That was it, Bay :) QOF .....why couldn't I remember that :rolleyes: Guess I was still struggling with the idea that they were phoning 'hundreds' of people with dementia to arrange their dementia reviews! Like that would work......

    Thank goodness I answered the phone, not mum :)
     
  19. Bay

    Bay Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    44
    Kent
    I am also struggling with phone numbers. My OH has mild dementia and is still OK to be left on his own at the moment. However he can't deal with any business calls or take messages. I've therefore been asking all appropriate people to delete our home number and just use my mobile. Getting them to do this seems to be impossible at times!
     
  20. its a struggle

    its a struggle Registered User

    Incompetent and callous disregard for people with disabilities

    You couldn't make it up! If it wasn't so tragic and frustrating it would be funny.

    I am fed up with hearing how hard all these people work. Well I worked hard until my recent retirement and I would have faced the sack for some of this crass incompetence. Who DOESN'T work hard these days?

    Rant over!:D
     

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