another husband

[enilo]

My 47 yea r old husband moved out 2 years ago, we have 3 children age 12, 15 and 17.
We all find him increasingly forgetful, repeating questions, making up stories when ha has forgotten what really happened, getting lost in well known places, lost in time (has always been but increasingly) and changed personality, moody, more tearful, (has never been before) and his language is worsening and he needs to ask for words, especially in English which is not his native language.
His mother got AD at 60, his elder brother has the same symptoms but the family do not do anything just leave him alone. My husband has not been working for 4 years and is increasingly difficult to realte to, losing friends and spending a lot of time alone . When we meet he always comments he would like everything to be as it used to be. His children feel he treats them as if they were 10 years younger.'
He saw a neurologist a week ago, we went together to the GP who sent him there, and luckily he agreed.
Now we are so nervous he will not get a diagnosis, because realting to such a disturbed person kills us as long as he does not admit to having a problem but blaming everybody else even his own children. We need a diagnosis!!!
If he deos not get a diagnosi now, we will have to go to court where his children will tell the jury that he is totally incapable of caring for others and does not even know whether they are there or not, disappearing for hours without notice etc.
Do you think that these symptoms are enough for a neurologist to diagnose on, we are getting desperate.
Love,
Enilo:
confused:

 

[zed]

My 47 yea r old husband moved out 2 years ago, we have 3 children age 12, 15 and 17.
We all find him increasingly forgetful, repeating questions, making up stories when ha has forgotten what really happened, getting lost in well known places, lost in time (has always been but increasingly) and changed personality, moody, more tearful, (has never been before) and his language is worsening and he needs to ask for words, especially in English which is not his native language.
His mother got AD at 60, his elder brother has the same symptoms but the family do not do anything just leave him alone. My husband has not been working for 4 years and is increasingly difficult to realte to, losing friends and spending a lot of time alone . When we meet he always comments he would like everything to be as it used to be. His children feel he treats them as if they were 10 years younger.'
He saw a neurologist a week ago, we went together to the GP who sent him there, and luckily he agreed.
Now we are so nervous he will not get a diagnosis, because realting to such a disturbed person kills us as long as he does not admit to having a problem but blaming everybody else even his own children. We need a diagnosis!!!
If he deos not get a diagnosi now, we will have to go to court where his children will tell the jury that he is totally incapable of caring for others and does not even know whether they are there or not, disappearing for hours without notice etc.
Do you think that these symptoms are enough for a neurologist to diagnose on, we are getting desperate.
Love,
Enilo:
confused:

Dear Enilo

I am so sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through, it must be difficult for you all.

No one here is in a position to diagnose, I really hope you get some answers soon. Usually the way demenita is diagnosed is a GP will do some blood tests and other health checks to see if the memory problems and confusion are caused by something other than dementia. Once a GP is satisfied that there is no other obvious cause, they will refer to a specialist such as a neurologist, who will do tests including a brain scan. I presume your husband has had his brain scan. The neurologist will also do a test called the Mini Mental State exam, wher they ask the patient questions to test their mental functioning.

The neurologist will be able to tell from these tests and brain scan if he is likely to have AD. As ai am sure you know the chances of having AD at your husband's age, but as his mother had young onset AD sadly he has a much higher chance than other people.

However, there could be another neurological reason, such as a head injury.

Please do tell us what happens.

 

[jenniferpa]

Ditto to what Zed said.

One thing I wanted to warn you about, though. Even if he does get a diagnosis, be prepared to realise that even then, he may not accept it. It is quite common for people with dementia to refuse to acknowledge a diagnosis: sometimes they simply can't remember, sometimes it's a refusal to accept the situation. Also, of course, a number of psychiatric illnessess can manifest themselves with the same sort of symptoms you describe. You are in an extremely difficult position, and although I understand the desire to have a problem that you can name, in all likelihood, that will not make a bit of difference to the behaviour you all find so challenging.

Jennifer

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Enilo,

I`m almost sure you will get a diagnosis, but obviously cannot say what the diagnosis will be.

Your husband sounds very ill, and it must be so difficult for you and your children to cope.

But, as Jennifer said, a diagnosis might not be enough to make things better for you, if you husband refuses to accept it.

Will you be able to go with him for the diagnosis. If so you may be able to ask the questions you want to, and get the answers directly from the doctor.

Take care, with love

 

[enilo]

Thank you for all replies, it helps make the waiting feel easier.
The main reason we need a diagnosis is that it is irresponsible to leave children with such an adult since he is so verbally abusive and forgetful. May be it is personality mostly, but an extremely exaggerated one! It makes it much easier to excuse somebody when you know the unpredictable behavoiur is part of an illness. For all of us it will be easier to relate to him if we know he is ill.
Otherwise our bitch just had 8 puppies which is great and helps us keep a positive focus!
Love
Enilo

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks for the update. Good luck with the puppies.