Another failed discharge.

[nae sporran]

Thank you @Sarasa and @MaNaAk. C finally got up at 12, but needed two care workers and a lot of encouragement.
We're just waiting for the nurse now. The shopping can wait, and mornings may have to be cancelled for a while, but now I know what other members are going through. Peace and strength to you all.

 

[nae sporran]

I am so busy with all this I can't focus on anything else. OT has put C on the waiting list for a visit in 2 to 6 weeks after Physio was a little superficial. Physio did provide a booster cushion, but I suspect for the longer term C will need more, possibly including two carers to get her out of bed.
The practice nurse, after a bit of persuasion, has made sure the district nurse will come tomorrow to insert suppositories and change a dressing. It's so tiring having to spend half the day making phone calls and the other half calming C's daughter who does fight for her, but goes a bit overboard.
C could not get off her chair to go the toilet, so I went looking for a care worker. She got support and they both came back an hour later without me asking to make sure all was fine. In the midst of all this I always seem to find someone willing to go the extra mile. A neighbour offered to help too and when I said thank you he said she is a lovely lady, so that made my day.

 

[Sarasa]

Oh @nae sporran this all sounds so hard. I hope you manage to get the right care in place and C’s daughter realises everyone is doing their best to support her mother.

 

[nae sporran]

Thank you @Sarasa. I hope you are ok now after your scare a couple of days ago.

 

[AliceA]

Thanks everyone I missed out replying to. C is in the ED Majors ward waiting for a move to a proper ward in the morning. The doc is going to prescribe laxatives, test for a UTI and recommend physio to get her hip moving again. I did tell him how hard it is to look after her when she is in so much pain, but that is something I'll have to repeat a few times on Monday and probably for the rest of the week.
That hospital has a carers liaison officer who works with the carers support centre and takes part in hospital management meetings. I've met her before and have her number to call on Monday.
For someone in so much pain and who is confused about who I am C still made sure I was ok and she told me when to go home as I was obviously tired. I hear and read so much about people with dementia becoming a bit selfish or no longer being the person you know. It's so lovely that whatever happens and however muddled she gets, C is still the lovely wee wumman I met 15 years ago.

Yes, hold on to that, beneath the heavy cloak of dementia the real caring is still there.

 

[Izzy]

I’m glad people are supporting you @nae sporran. Wishing you strength.

 

[nae sporran]

Thank you Izzy, thank you Alice

 

[jugglingmum]

So hard to manage it all. I hope you can get into a routine and C's daughter back a off a little

 

[nae sporran]

Thank you @jugglingmum. After all the talk of moving to extra care or a home the plan is now to increase care where we are. I suspect that will change sometime soon. Thanks again for your advice on that area.

 

[nellbelles]

Keep going @nae sporran and remember to look after yourself as well!

 

[nae sporran]

Thank you Nellbelles.

 

[Grannie G]

A neighbour offered to help too and when I said thank you he said she is a lovely lady, so that made my day.

It`s so heartwarming when others see through the dementia.

 

[nae sporran]

It`s so heartwarming when others see through the dementia.

Yes, she still manages to charm the neighbours, especially the men. ?

 

[nae sporran]

We're in uncharted waters now. C actually went to the toilet for the first time in a while, but I had to wipe her afterwards. Of course when I asked the care worker to help clean her up as I may have not been as thorough as I should, she got embarrassed and angry. So, here we are with her sitting in her nightie and not as clean as she ought to be.
I hope we're still in that adjustment period after hospital, but it is new situation every day. All this will need to be discussed with the social worker at my carers assessment and with the nurse.
How do you talk to a care worker about a delicate problem without embarrassing someone. How do you avoid looking like you are talking about her behind her back if you try to do it out of earshot.
Sorry, the solution is probably more obvious than it looks, but I can't think straight.

 

[Sarasa]

That's tough @nae sporran. Can you email ahead and explain what has happened and what help you think you are going to need. That way you might not have to talk in C's presence or behind her back. but it will be be sorted as a done deal when carers visit.
Sorry it is all so tough.

 

[nae sporran]

Thanks Sarasa, but the only email address I have is for the office and even in the week they can be slow to answer. There's an on call phone, but how quickly that gets to the right person is now certain, from previous experience.
I'll try to make the care manager aware that it could be an issue and if she can add it to the notes on the system that might help.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @nae sporran
the firsts are the challenging parts, they're the surprise .... they soon turn into 2nd, 3rd ... though keep in mind that you are allowed to have your own line in the sand
it's important that you do raise any issue and ask any question
it's really not going behind anyone's back ... you'd ask if it were an issue at work about how to do your job effectively, you'd be daft not to, it's a sensible part of training
speaking out of earshot is a kindness as you don't want unnecessary upset for anyone
the care worker will have heard it all before and have ways to help, their knowledge is a valuable resource for you to tap into
ask about foam 'washes' etc and make up a container of useful items to keep in the bathroom
much sympathy

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[nae sporran]

Thank you, Shedrech. I'll bear all that in mind when the next care visit comes round.

 

[jugglingmum]

When I had a social worker assessment for mum I'd written everything out and handed it to her when she arrived. She read through it before she spoke to mum

 

[nae sporran]

The afternoon care worker had a note from the earlier caller, so she was able to be more discrete. That's not normally hone of her strengths, so we are all learning as we go.
My next call with the social services will be a carers assessment, but I'll get her email address and will email the care manager tomorrow.
Thanks Juggling mum.