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Another failed discharge.

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
The carers assessment was a let down. Maybe I was too tired and doing it over the phone while sipping a pint of beer was not as good as filling in the form myself.
Still, the nurse practitioner has been great, the constipation is easing a little and C's starting to eat and drink a fair bit more over the last two or three days.
It doesn't look like we need a huge increase in care at the moment, and the slow pace of getting care management to respond and support means we will have to do it the long hard way later. Most of the care workers have been great and have doubled up as needed.
I probably won't adduch more to this now. It's been a rough month or two going back to early September, but we survived again and the support on here has been appreciated.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
It sounds as if you are accepting things as they are @nae sporran even if they are far from ideal.

Just watch your own health now. You have had a really stressful time and I hope you don`t have a reaction.

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
Thanks for that, Sylvia. I think there will still be more fights ahead, bit now I know the nurse practitioner and the dementia navigator will support us through it. Some of the other stuff like increasing care or moving somewhere with more care will come up again, and I have a better idea of what to expect.
My friend who runs the photo walking group sends me WhatsApp messages regularly too, offering a chat and a coffee.


Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
I'm late to the party @naesporran, but some of your earlier posts struck a chord with me, particularly about how to talk to professionals about C without her hearing, misunderstanding and getting upset. I also remember what a challenge it could be to make sure my wife was properly clean after using the toilet. She was naturally resistant to personal care even from me, her partner of 40 years, but I didn't want her to spend her day in discomfort because I couldn't persuade her to let me help her wash, change clothes or whatever was needed.

One thing that did work well was when we had a companion/carer who came in once a week (to help with the dog!). She sometimes managed to get my wife to change out of the clothes that she had lived and slept in for a day or more. She even managed to persuade her to have a bath but not every week. Over a period of 14 months this support was invaluable but the written summary left after every visit showed how much more difficult it was becoming. But it was a vital lifeline for me, giving me a chance to see friends, ride my bike and come back more ready to deal with the 6 days until the next visit.

You do need to consider yourself in all of this. Running yourself ragged will help neither of you. I hope that you are able to get the care that C needs (even for thing like getting out of bed). Resist the urge to step in yourself whenever the care and support options don't come up to expectations. You will need to give some serious thought to how long the current situation can be sustained and what, realistically, might come next.

I hope that some of this helps.

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