Norman - I hope you get to keep a memory of todays birthday for the best or reasons though its so easy for everything else to get in the way.
Bruce - is the sun out today? I hope so.
Everyone else out there - todays a new day and who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Its a beautiful day, I managed to ride one of my horses this morning, my dog is curled up at my feet and Mum has got a Sunday roast on the way - what a wonderful smell... But I'm having "melancholy moment"! Why? It feels so wrong when so many of you are in the midst of the dreadful hands-on caring scenario and we have Aunty safely safe in a wonderful Residential Home.
When I when I visited yesterday I know she was trying to find the words to ask when she would be going home. I took her for a short walk with my dog before lunch. Buts it's as though she was waiting to ask the question when she had me on my own. As we stood looking out across the estuary she looked straight at me and a jumble of words came out including, "how long, whats happening now". My heart hit my boots and I could barely look her back in the eye as I muttered a totally inadequate response and desperately tried to find another subject to move onto. I can't even remember what I said but it was pretty useless. When we got back she seemed fine and dissappeared off to the dining room with barely a backward glance - I can't help thinking that she felt let down.
To make things worse I then had to spend 2 hours at her house sorting through her personal effects. I've got to make a decision soon on what to do with her house - no thats not right - her home. There's only so much we can look after for her so decisions will have to be made about the rest.
This is such a different set of difficulties than the one we had when Dad was ill. We hadn't even heard of EPA's and the COP. His decline was so rapid due to his heart condition that we had no time to dwell on anything apart from day to day practicalities.
I know I have done the right thing for her so far for her physical needs but what about her phsycological needs - I'm not convinced that there isn't more I could/should do. She seems so much stronger in all respects since she's been looked after. I still harbour the thought that maybe she could go home if we could find 24 hour care but then I'm only seeing her at her best these days aren't I.
Such a muddle of thoughts and questions and no right answers. Ok - melancholy moment over - I will hit "submit" and then walk away from the PC - thats how its supposed to work isn't it? Put in down in writing and clear your brain?
Kriss
Bruce - is the sun out today? I hope so.
Everyone else out there - todays a new day and who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Its a beautiful day, I managed to ride one of my horses this morning, my dog is curled up at my feet and Mum has got a Sunday roast on the way - what a wonderful smell... But I'm having "melancholy moment"! Why? It feels so wrong when so many of you are in the midst of the dreadful hands-on caring scenario and we have Aunty safely safe in a wonderful Residential Home.
When I when I visited yesterday I know she was trying to find the words to ask when she would be going home. I took her for a short walk with my dog before lunch. Buts it's as though she was waiting to ask the question when she had me on my own. As we stood looking out across the estuary she looked straight at me and a jumble of words came out including, "how long, whats happening now". My heart hit my boots and I could barely look her back in the eye as I muttered a totally inadequate response and desperately tried to find another subject to move onto. I can't even remember what I said but it was pretty useless. When we got back she seemed fine and dissappeared off to the dining room with barely a backward glance - I can't help thinking that she felt let down.
To make things worse I then had to spend 2 hours at her house sorting through her personal effects. I've got to make a decision soon on what to do with her house - no thats not right - her home. There's only so much we can look after for her so decisions will have to be made about the rest.
This is such a different set of difficulties than the one we had when Dad was ill. We hadn't even heard of EPA's and the COP. His decline was so rapid due to his heart condition that we had no time to dwell on anything apart from day to day practicalities.
I know I have done the right thing for her so far for her physical needs but what about her phsycological needs - I'm not convinced that there isn't more I could/should do. She seems so much stronger in all respects since she's been looked after. I still harbour the thought that maybe she could go home if we could find 24 hour care but then I'm only seeing her at her best these days aren't I.
Such a muddle of thoughts and questions and no right answers. Ok - melancholy moment over - I will hit "submit" and then walk away from the PC - thats how its supposed to work isn't it? Put in down in writing and clear your brain?
Kriss