Another chapter closed

Libby

Registered User
May 20, 2006
625
62
North East
Well, we have finally sold Mum and Dads house, and I feel as though another chapter in my life has closed. It has made me feel a bit low over the past few months, which is why I haven’t posted much, but life goes on as they say.

Every time I go into see Mum, she still talks about going home, but she’s thinking back to a house she lived in when she was very young, but it’s still hard, knowing that she’ll never go ‘home’

She doesn’t always recognize me now – although she smiles when I go in the room, I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t know who I am, but after I’ve sat and chatted for a while, she seems to realize that I’m someone close and calls me by my name. When I was in yesterday, I just popped into the bathroom (which is in her room) to wash a cup, and I could tell when I came out, that she had forgotten who I was!!

Yet when I leave, she stands at her window ready to wave, and it takes me a few minutes, to walk down the stairs (sorry – I’m lying there:eek: ) to go down in the lift, walk to the car park and drive around to the front of the building – yet she’s still there looking out for me. Admittedly, I have to wave like a mad woman to attract her attention, but she still waves back. It’s just odd how she remembers some things.

So another chapter starts – not sure if I want it to be a long one or short one.

Libs
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Not sure what to say, as my mother is not at that stage, sounds very emotional if that is the right word to use. I do like when you say another chapter closes, I remember when my mother sold her home how hard it was to put closure on that. I do like the saying when one door close another door open, you can’t see it when you’re living in it at that given time , but its there xx

PS


Seeing that we perceive things different my door means that you walk throw it like you did when your mother was not in the care home, long or short we all don’t know ,we sure know how emotionally had its going to be on us , so this new door is going to be a challenge for you , that again has to be taken one day at the time , while you look after yourself to see this to the end with your mother

Just my privet thoughts how I forward plan for myself when my mother gets to that stage.
 
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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,392
Kent
I know how you feel, Libby.
When my mother was first in the NH, she talked about going home and I remember going along with it, while at the same time, I was clearing it out ready to put on the market. I felt so guilty and so dishonest, but there was no alternative. She needed 24 hour care and I was inable to provide it.

I so remember the `Standing at the window, waiting to wave`. I used to wonder how long she would stand there after I`d gone.

This sadness is part of the grieving process. It is unavoidable, and common sense tells us it`s for the best, but it doesn`t make it easier to cope with.

Keep strong. Sylvia
 

alex

Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
1,665
Hi Libby

although she smiles when I go in the room, I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t know who I am
Oh..........how that one hit home Libby!
For me......it was the beginning of the realization that i'd lost the person i'd loved..............i remember feeling angry, sad and hurt that he could forget so easily!

There are many more chapters to come yet and yes........each one hurts, but with the hurt comes a strength (sometimes you don't feel it, but it is there, its a built-in mechanism we have, its the same as when you cut yourself, a scab will form......thats what protects us)..........it can take anything from a few hours to a few days for the strength to come and the period inbetween is when we feel vulnerable and thats where you are now!..........so give it time, it will come......and you'll get stronger as each chapter comes and goes.

I hope your feeling better soon.
Love Alex x
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
62
Sheffield
Hi Libby
I really do understand how you feel.....its so sad to have that chapter close in your life.On my last visit to my parents home i walked from room to room and the memories were quite overwhelming. I promise it does get easier with time.
Stay strong
love xx