Another chapter closed

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Libby, Nov 12, 2006.

  1. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    625
    North East
    Well, we have finally sold Mum and Dads house, and I feel as though another chapter in my life has closed. It has made me feel a bit low over the past few months, which is why I haven’t posted much, but life goes on as they say.

    Every time I go into see Mum, she still talks about going home, but she’s thinking back to a house she lived in when she was very young, but it’s still hard, knowing that she’ll never go ‘home’

    She doesn’t always recognize me now – although she smiles when I go in the room, I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t know who I am, but after I’ve sat and chatted for a while, she seems to realize that I’m someone close and calls me by my name. When I was in yesterday, I just popped into the bathroom (which is in her room) to wash a cup, and I could tell when I came out, that she had forgotten who I was!!

    Yet when I leave, she stands at her window ready to wave, and it takes me a few minutes, to walk down the stairs (sorry – I’m lying there:eek: ) to go down in the lift, walk to the car park and drive around to the front of the building – yet she’s still there looking out for me. Admittedly, I have to wave like a mad woman to attract her attention, but she still waves back. It’s just odd how she remembers some things.

    So another chapter starts – not sure if I want it to be a long one or short one.

    Libs
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #2 Margarita, Nov 12, 2006
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2006
    Not sure what to say, as my mother is not at that stage, sounds very emotional if that is the right word to use. I do like when you say another chapter closes, I remember when my mother sold her home how hard it was to put closure on that. I do like the saying when one door close another door open, you can’t see it when you’re living in it at that given time , but its there xx

    PS


    Seeing that we perceive things different my door means that you walk throw it like you did when your mother was not in the care home, long or short we all don’t know ,we sure know how emotionally had its going to be on us , so this new door is going to be a challenge for you , that again has to be taken one day at the time , while you look after yourself to see this to the end with your mother

    Just my privet thoughts how I forward plan for myself when my mother gets to that stage.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,658
    Kent
    I know how you feel, Libby.
    When my mother was first in the NH, she talked about going home and I remember going along with it, while at the same time, I was clearing it out ready to put on the market. I felt so guilty and so dishonest, but there was no alternative. She needed 24 hour care and I was inable to provide it.

    I so remember the `Standing at the window, waiting to wave`. I used to wonder how long she would stand there after I`d gone.

    This sadness is part of the grieving process. It is unavoidable, and common sense tells us it`s for the best, but it doesn`t make it easier to cope with.

    Keep strong. Sylvia
     
  4. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Libby

    Oh..........how that one hit home Libby!
    For me......it was the beginning of the realization that i'd lost the person i'd loved..............i remember feeling angry, sad and hurt that he could forget so easily!

    There are many more chapters to come yet and yes........each one hurts, but with the hurt comes a strength (sometimes you don't feel it, but it is there, its a built-in mechanism we have, its the same as when you cut yourself, a scab will form......thats what protects us)..........it can take anything from a few hours to a few days for the strength to come and the period inbetween is when we feel vulnerable and thats where you are now!..........so give it time, it will come......and you'll get stronger as each chapter comes and goes.

    I hope your feeling better soon.
    Love Alex x
     
  5. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Libby
    I really do understand how you feel.....its so sad to have that chapter close in your life.On my last visit to my parents home i walked from room to room and the memories were quite overwhelming. I promise it does get easier with time.
    Stay strong
    love xx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.