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Annoying other residents

Cheesecake4242

Registered User
Apr 9, 2013
43
Although MIL has eaten lunch in her Assisted Living comples everyday for the past 2 years 3 months, and spent 1000's of hours in the communial lounge, she does not recognise any of it from one day to the next and truly believes that she cooks her own lunch. By and large she has been Ok and has kept her persisent questions (I want to go home, have you sold my house, don't know what I'm doing here) for when she gets back to her flat at about 4 o'clock and starts to ring us non stop until 7 pm.

However, we have seen quite a decline in her memory over the past month and she is now addressing these questions to other residents, especially over lunch. Although they are lovely, patient people I think she is now beginning to annoy them. Getting her to sit at another table is probably never going to happen as she has sat in the same place for the place for two years. I suppose if anyone is offended they could always sit somewhere else but I don't see why they should move. Going for lunch is the only thing that will get her out of her flat so we don't want to stop it.

Any suggestions?
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,824
UK
Any chance of family members taking it in turns to join her for lunch? it might help ease the situation before it gets out of hand or until the time comes when she is happy to have lunch in her own flat.
 

Fearnodarkness

Registered User
Jun 10, 2014
38
I would love to be able to find a place like this FOR our mum. But she is quite far gone with memory loss already, despite looking after herself, and we can't find an "assisted living" place anywhere near either her home area or ours that will accept her - often for "local authority" reasons, she's in the wrong area and self funding. Only those "retirement flats" that are going up everywhere like mushrooms and don't want anyone with memory problems. I know a couple of memory -challenged people who do live in retirement flats and get on alright - but they moved in before their memory problems were too serious.
 

Cheesecake4242

Registered User
Apr 9, 2013
43
I would love to be able to find a place like this FOR our mum. But she is quite far gone with memory loss already, despite looking after herself, and we can't find an "assisted living" place anywhere near either her home area or ours that will accept her - often for "local authority" reasons, she's in the wrong area and self funding. Only those "retirement flats" that are going up everywhere like mushrooms and don't want anyone with memory problems. I know a couple of memory -challenged people who do live in retirement flats and get on a
lright - but they moved in before their memory problems were too serious.
When we bought the flat for her she wasn't too bad. She did not actually understand what was happening but went along with it. There is no way we could have moved her there now, would have been even more confusing for her. The flat is fabulous but she calls it 'the pighole'. She is becoming more and more miserable but we will soldier on until the time is right for her to move into full time care.
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,475
Suffolk
Hi cheesecake, just noticed you said mum doesn't recognise anything. OHs consultant impressed on me that everytime he walks into a room it is new and strange to him. We lived in a bungalow and he only used three rooms - living, shower and bed - and he didnt know where they were!
Fortunately the question problem wasn't to bad with him and it quickly went away.
Good luck!