1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. banger696

    banger696 Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    225
    North East
    This maybe just me but I reminded mum about a chiropodist coming on the 6th Jan, and she obsessed about it most of the night.

    What day is that she said, when is it, oh I will have to wash my feet, can you not cancel it?

    By the time bedtime came I was getting really frustrated at her repeated attempts at trying to get me to cancel it and the labour of having to wash her feet.

    Is it me or does anyone else experience similar with their relative?

    Tim
     
  2. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    I learned not to mention appointments to my husband until I had to put his coat on, and then only mentioned it casually. Otherwise it was a worry to him, as he would know something was coming up, but not what or when.
    Make life as easy as you can, and don't remind this far ahead.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    i agree , don't mention events until just before. i think that fear creates anxiety. I tried to imagine myself in a world where i never know what is coming next because i can't remember but I can't remember that I can't remember and I can remember some things but .....what if I get it wrong!!!
    I think it must be soooooooooooooooooooooo distressing and soooooooooooooooo unpredictable that everything becomes a major worry :)
     
  4. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,517
    Ireland
    Yup - Agree with Sleepless. I think the anxiety and obsessing about it may come from some awareness on the person's part that their memory is not all it used to be, and they are afraid they will forget the appointment. Plus, (at least in my late husband's case) the concept of time no longer meant anything. To say that an appointment was on 7th January - that would have conveyed nothing to my husband. He wouldn't have known how long away that was - whether it was after an hour or six months! Even "tomorrow" was no good. Best not to mention appointments, if you can, until it's time to get ready for them. Allow plenty of time to get ready - but not so much time as to cause a lot of anxiety.
     
  5. banger696

    banger696 Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    225
    North East
    Lesson learned. :)
     
  6. 1mindy

    1mindy Registered User

    Jul 21, 2015
    539
    Female
    Shropshire
    And when you lapse, having forgotten the lesson as you inevitably will do ( it is sometimes just something to say )just say yes you will cancel it. No foot washing then required.
     
  7. banger696

    banger696 Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    225
    North East
    Give me strength, tonight she asked me to write down what they were going to do and when just in case I wasnt there, I am always here 24/7.
     

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