Anniversaries

[Cate]

Hiya Ange

I'm so very sorry I have not been here for you, and missed your important day.

Honey I really feel for you, I dont think you ever 'get over' the loss of your special person, but maybe, you learn to live along side it. You know you are loved by family and friends who are right there with you, even if its only in spirit.

Ange and Tina, sending you massive hugs.

Love

Cate xxxxxx

 

[Tina]

Well, I've managed nearly all the "firsts"...Aunty Jean's and Uncle Harry's anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas etc. Grandad's anniversary looming now and second rounds of birthdays and another first anniversary of an aunt who died in October...wouldn't it be nice to be able to say "Well, I've done it all once, it was bl**dy horrible but I managed, and now I'm just going to snap out of it and everything will be hunky-dory"...Doesn't work that way, does it... So, best foot forward and get on with it, get used to the second year of missing people, and then the third and fourth etc. But why is it so hard....

It's not always so hard...I'm out and about doing things, meeting people, working, regular routines, loads of projects to finish etc and I'm not sitting at home staring at the walls all the time or drowning in tears. I can find comfort in the happy memories, but sometimes, like today, they're just so hard to reconcile with the loss.

Love Tina

 

[connie]

Tina dear, I am glad that you say:

It's not always so hard...I'm out and about doing things, meeting people, working, regular routines, loads of projects to finish etc and I'm not sitting at home staring at the walls all the time or drowning in tears. I can find comfort in the happy memories, but sometimes, like today, they're just so hard to reconcile with the loss

Yes, it's called moving on, but memories always stay with you.
I feel down today myself, why?, it would have been my husband's birthday. Yet he has been gone from me these past 13 plus years.
Cherish the 'special' days and try to fill them with happy memories, but don't deny the days, they are still part of life.

 

[Grannie G]

I don`t believe we ever forget people who were important to us.

I still talk about my grandmother and she died in 1983, 25 years ago. I no longer grieve for her or mourn her passing, she would be 116 now. But this is how I believe people live on, in our hearts and minds and memories, and of course in ourselves.

 

[Tina]

I'm doing the second round of the anniversaries...Aunty Jean's coming up in November, and three others shortly before and shortly after...

Feel like I've taken two steps back...why does the run-up to the day hurt so much...all these "this time two years ago" moments, and then the feeling that, since it's two years, it shouldn't really hurt that much any more. But it does.... and at the momemt it hurts because I'm coming to the end of a big project soon and if/when I finish it, I can't ring her to tell her I've done it. I promised her in hospital I'd see it through, and I know she'd be pleased. If it hadn't been for her encouragement when I started out, I might never have got this far.


I know the sadness passes, I'm not like this all the time. It's just a question of sitting it out and letting it happen, it gets better after a while. Life is still good even though it has a few craters in it, there is much love and kindness and fun and laughter around, and I have so much to be grateful for. And no, I wouldn't wish Aunty Jean back into the kind of suffering she went through, but I don't half wish I could hear her voice on the end of the phone. And yes, I feel so selfish for it, I just want her here. Now.

Tina x