My poor dear mum in EMD unit and I just feel angry with myself for not knowing how to help her.
I feel bereaved, but not bereaved, as she's slipping away. Her personality completely changed but she knows me and has the presence of mind to tell me she just wants to die as her brain isn't working. She doesn't accept that she isnt like the other people in the home who are either wandering or just sitting. She can't wander as the stroke left her with left side weakness and she doesn't understand she can't walk so throws herself in the floor to get about if carers with someone else. I feel helpless but then tell myself off for thinking of myself and getting upset. I want to lock myself in a dark room n forget then feel guilty for my thoughts. Some days she's happy but this morning upset but it's her first full day in new home. Yesterday when she arrived she was happy...I like thousands of others have family, sons, grandkids n I'm always the one everyone turns to but I have to fit mum in but people say I have to live my life as mum had hers which was absolutely brilliant...I could go on n on but I'll just glug a glass of wine. How does everyone else cope ...
I feel bereaved, but not bereaved, as she's slipping away. Her personality completely changed but she knows me and has the presence of mind to tell me she just wants to die as her brain isn't working. She doesn't accept that she isnt like the other people in the home who are either wandering or just sitting. She can't wander as the stroke left her with left side weakness and she doesn't understand she can't walk so throws herself in the floor to get about if carers with someone else. I feel helpless but then tell myself off for thinking of myself and getting upset. I want to lock myself in a dark room n forget then feel guilty for my thoughts. Some days she's happy but this morning upset but it's her first full day in new home. Yesterday when she arrived she was happy...I like thousands of others have family, sons, grandkids n I'm always the one everyone turns to but I have to fit mum in but people say I have to live my life as mum had hers which was absolutely brilliant...I could go on n on but I'll just glug a glass of wine. How does everyone else cope ...