Hello, MIL has mid stage mixed dementia which is advancing. Till now we have had a carer for an hour each day to back up our visits and the twice daily phone calls. But we were concerned about going on holiday and spoke at length and many times with her about live in care and after a visit from the agency she readily agreed. The carer arrived a couple of days before we left so we could all get to know each other and the first day went well. Since then MIL has had wild rages and anger at the carer. She hasn't changed her clothes in a week, evening sleeping in them, she goes into the carers room at night and shouts at her. Any offer of help makes her more enraged. She is only abusive to us when we call. She says she doesn't need help as she has a husband and son at school and friends who look after her. Husband is dead, son is my husband and there are no friends. Before we came away we met with the agency and all agreed the carer should just be there to make sure she is safe and leave her alone as much as possible. I am at the very end of my tether, husband is ready to disown her completely. She is becoming a danger to herself, putting the electric kettle on the hob, melting plastic packaging in the oven, leaving food around the house, won't use the shower or washing machine, can't take her medication alone etc etc. She is so rude and aggressive and we really don't know what to do. I am almost done completely. Thank you for listening.