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And suddenly it’s over


Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
Thank you all for your kindness. My Dad doesn’t know yet, as telephone communication is nearly impossible and I can’t travel till tomorrow. His cousin will go round in the morning to tell him and be with him until I get there. He is going to take it hard I think, even though we have been expecting it, it’s still much more of a shock than I thought it would be, now it’s actually happened.

I have had to phone my mother‘s four siblings this evening, that was hard . They are all upset too, of course, she was their big sister.



Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
Thank you all for your thoughts and wishes. I have had a busy couple of days organising things. The family was all agreed we would honour mum‘s wishes, well known to us all, for a direct cremation and unattended scattering of her ashes in the crematorium rose gardens. So no funeral as such to be sorted out, and the cremation will take place early next week.

Mum’s dementia journey post diagnosis was much shorter than it is for many of your PWDs and whilst the last year has been tough, I am still in awe of the love and dedication so many of you have for your PWD over very long periods, often years. I wish you all the strength to continue with your love and care, in whatever form “care” needs to be.

My focus now is on Dad, who is growing more confused himself but not, it seems, with dementia as such. He is deteriorating and feels Mum’s loss even though she had not been at home with him for some time. As he said, it’s very strange knowing that she now cannot come back, even though in practice she would not have done so anyway.

The support and advice I’ve had from forum members has been so valuable, I have really appreciated it.

Vanessa Terry

Registered User
Sep 27, 2021
Mum died peacefully in a nursing home this afternoon. I am relieved that it is over, the last few months have been awful for her and for me, but I am in pieces.
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you . Their are no words to help with your heartache. Xx