1. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,430
    East of England
    I got a small blender yesterday because I only had a manual messy one, so today’s the day. I served up his portion, added it to some vegetable stock, whizzed it up and gave it to him. He pronounced it good but he wouldn’t be able to eat it all. I have insisted because it’s now easy to eat and he has complied. Up for lunch today in his pyjamas and dressing gown. We shall watch Strictly tonight, colourful, entertaining and fun with skill attached, great diversion from this slow torture.
     
  2. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    I have added single cream to blend food. The sweetness makes it more palatable & calories are good- dementia is a greedy bedfellow!

    enjoy strictly I will be either asleep or with dad listening to classic fm!
    Xx
     
  3. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,590
    I use double cream in everything, it's amazing how much cream and butter I can get in a scrambled egg.
     
  4. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    yep I even use clotted cream in sauces & gravy!
     
  5. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,590
    Dad eats everything with a visible crust of salt and pepper so everything tastes the same anyway.
     
  6. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    Ah salt ...
    salt makes everything taste sweeter. change in taste buds leads to excess salt!
    I use honey in cooking for mum & dark brown sugar so don’t need so much salt !

    either way more important for mum to eat than to worry at this stage about balanced diets!!! that horse bolted the stable years ago......
     
  7. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    508
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    My husband tends to put loads of salt on his food, something he never used to do.
     
  8. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    it’s the dementia changing of the taste buds, another sad milestone
     
  9. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,463
    I am looking at a red insulated plate, eating takes so long. Also mugs with a cone inside, this means the head does not have to tilt back, good with swallow problems or when reclined a bit.
    I do use cream but also virgin olive oil, coconut oil and milk powder. My daughter gave me some whey powder but it lends a sweet taste, all right in some dishes. Bone broth powder gives protein etc in a small scoop.
    I was brought up to make this the old fashioned way with marrow bones or chicken carcass. The powder is an easier choice, added to bovril it makes a consommé. It seems expense but only a little is used. I use an organic grass fed one. Xxx
     
  10. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,430
    East of England
    My husband’s sister really is in a mental pickle. I sent her a condolences card and told her that I had told my husband about their sister’s death and it bore fruit. She telephoned today and after the pleasantries I said that it would be a good idea if she came to see him again before Christmas, that I would pay for their trip and to that she replied, ‘oh I kissed him goodbye when we left and that that would be the last time I saw him’. I was so shocked but at the same time I had wondered if she would ever come to see him again. She has let the waters close over the sad episode of three weeks ago, has said goodbye to her brother and that’s it. Such a cold hearted response must signify real mental trouble and I left it for her to consider and she said she would call again. I suppose the only upside to this is that he has no idea about this and once again it is for me to bear the pain. I am wondering if, in fact, it would be for the best if she and her husband didn’t come again. No point really other than family loyalty.
     
  11. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    my Granny used to day let sleeping dogs lie
    I think this is apt in your SIL case.
    X
     
  12. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    so couldn’t even tempt Dad with more than a couple of teaspoons of ice cream at lunch time!
    But cuddles .... yes!
    So cuddles & classical fm it is!
     
  13. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,463

    The food of Love? Xxx
     
  14. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,463
    Probably would be, why ripple the pond with a stone that destroys rather than builds? If he has forgot her it could be kinder. We have a family member calling next week, I am not sure she has really taken it all on board, she has so many preconceived ideas and easy answers. Xxx
     
  15. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,430
    East of England
    I am still shocked by her saying that she had said goodbye because the implications are awful. However I am going to bide my time Alice as there is no point in doing anything else. There is always a ray of sunshine in the gloom and I bumped into a colleague and friend in the supermarket this afternoon. He greeted me so effusively and was so upset about my husband, was so adamant that my needs were now a priority and what could he and his partner do to help. He really meant it for himself and his partner who is fond of my husband. I told him about this incident and he was very supportive about it and it turned out he had nursed his wife through a brain tumour so had great insight into my issues. So good came out of a bad situation and I felt a lot better. Families do take a knock when one is stricken with dementia.
     
  16. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    my Dads sister came up to visit him & said the same thing “ she has said her goodbyes” - so I do understand a little bit. I am fortunate that I have a good relationship with her & am able to talk about how she feels about Dads situation.
    From her perspective- her brother has gone.... my Dad is much further down the path than your OH. My aunt is 88 not in the best of health & lives 130 plus miles away ( it’s not motorway miles either!)

    my mum, Dads own wife has difficulties comprehending his condition- this says more about my own mums mental health than anything else.

    so I really am alone in this situation. Only child, no other relatives. My own husband doesn’t cope well in these situations & cannot deal with things well. He never has, but supports me in his own way to the best of his abilities.

    My son lives in Melbourne so time distance & travel .......
    Meanwhile my daughter is around & about at times - my OH doesn’t believe the young should be burdened with this.

    so yes I’m very much alone in this...
     
  17. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,430
    East of England
    This is very helpful for insight into this and I think this is what will happen here. It helps to discuss it before saying something one might regret to her. I think my observation that maybe she should not visit again could turn out to be the right one for her. She certainly doesn’t help me, because she has OCD herself and twitters about trying to be helpful, saying sorry all the time if she thinks she has not done the right thing. I also have to entertain them which normally would be lovely but not so much now. She probably has not got the strength to see him again and try to interact with him, some people can and some can’t. Fortunately I was able to sound off on TP and not to her. She has made a muck up of it all since her sister’s death and I believe that she is telling all her friends that she went to see her brother on the day of her sister’s funeral and everyone is saying what a nice thing to do. I guess if it makes her feel better, so be it. People are complex. I still think it’s a pity she couldn’t wait a couple of weeks and visit us at home. I can only conclude that she didn’t want to see me. Sigh...
     
  18. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,430
    East of England
    Success with the blender today as I bow to the inevitable and give him liquidised food of one consistency or other at all his meals except for things like banana. He looked at his ’soup’ which was a quarter of a Shepherd’s pie which he used to like and now won’t eat and said I can’t eat all that! He has polished it off and had a smoothie yogurt dessert. For some reason I have just rewatched Gregori Sokolov playing Rameau on YouTube and he is completely mesmerised by the rhythmical melodies so yet another diversion for him.
     
  19. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    lovely, your SIL cannot cope with the reality of the situation. By her yelling role she’s been to visit her brother she’s looking to gain approval, sympathy etc especially by telling people she did this on the day of the funeral. your SIL fools no one but herself.
    you make her feel inadequate in the way you stoically cope day in day out.

    this poor behaviour & lack of empathy on your SIL part is of no reflection of your good self.

    I am glad that my own experience might have shone some light onto another’s experience

    meanwhile if you see my fairy godmother out & about can you tell her to get a move on please!!!
    Xx
     
  20. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,640
    I cuddled Dad in bed listening to classic fm; waited until he was happily snoring before slipping away home via the show as mother hubbards cupboards had more in it than mine!!!
     

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