1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,400
    East of England
    Absolutely right and I started a thread on that topic a while ago and try to get a walk in every day even if short. I walked about 3+ miles in total, to and from the Audiology department, had a coffee before the test and by the time I got home in lovely sunshine I felt like myself. He was fine although dozing in his chair, not bed this time, waiting for me to come back. The audiologist did not mince his words on the connection between deafness and increasing likelihood of dementia developing. I know several people who have hearing loss but won’t use their hearing aids, often men, one of whom has developed vascular dementia, and the others having difficulties attributed to the deafness itself. I was amazed yesterday that I could turn off the subtitles, turn down the sound and today hear perfectly well a lady visitor with a soft voice. My hearing loss is not severe but I need the help that aids can give. I was told to persevere wearing them all the time so today I have dutifully put them in and can hardly know that I have them. They are light unobtrusive and on the NHS, glory be.

    I had to get my dear husband up to see the old friend he has known for years who came today, visiting from Australia. He behaved as if he knew him perfectly well, and when he had gone said what was his name and that he didn’t recognise him. He was only doing what we all do, pretending to know and smile while not knowing who on earth it is. It may be host mode but we can all do that in certain situations.
     
  2. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,400
    East of England
    Up early in his pyjamas again with his ‘cup of tea’ fixation. I sent him up to get dressed and made the tea. Sometime later he came down dressed, had his breakfast and it was still early enough for me to wonder what he was going to do all morning and I had a brainwave. I mentioned before that I had tried children’s TV so I put on Peppa Pig and he was entranced by it for quite a long time, giggling away and seeming to enjoy it. It is a lovely programme but the fact of my clever academic husband watching Peppa Pig brought tears to my eyes, and added to that, it is so reminiscent of our children’s childhood TV and our grandchildren loved the show also. However I was very pleased to keep him engaged with something rather than simply sitting dozing.
     
  3. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,141
    My mum loves Shaun the sheep!
    X
     
  4. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,400
    East of England
    Ooh I shall try that next :)
     
  5. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    104
    Can't get away from 'dad's army'... Driving me mad....
     
  6. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,141
    Allo Allo, Are you being served?
     
  7. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    104
    Just been thinking about the time when I have to face my OH going into a care home.. And looking at it I now realise that I couldn't stay in our present home!!! I only have a small pention only working for years part time while looking after our 3 children.. My O H has a good pension. And some works pensions.. We also have a lifetime mortgage which we pay interest on each month.. I could no way afford to stay in the home we love... Sent me into a deep depression thinking of our future... What future.. He only has a few hour's each day when he really knows where he is and who I am... Now I dread what's to come..
     
  8. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,531
    Female
    South coast
    Dont think too far ahead. If your OH went into a care home you would be able to claim half his occupational pension. You might also become eligible for other, means tested benefits.

    There have been many times in my past when I thought How am I going to survive (especially when OH lost his job - we are both working age, but neither of us is working now), but somehow, we have.
     
  9. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    104
    I have to try to be positive I know.. But the future is so unknown and scary... So many emotions to deal with at once.. at the same time as feeling exhausted.. Oh well I'm keeping going as best I can.. Thanks for your reassurances.. Much appreciated xx
     
  10. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    473
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    I've tried this but I'm afraid it didn't work for me. At first he did seem to enjoy it and was laughing away at it. Then suddenly he said "turn this off. I don't want to watch this, I'm not a child". He got quite angry about it, so I haven't tried it again since.
     
  11. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    104
     
  12. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    104
    Hi.. Good suggestion will try.. Anything to get his mind off 'dad's army'.. 'stupid boy' xx
     
  13. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,400
    East of England
    I changed to Tom and Jerry after a bit and he liked that too. The programmes kept him amused for longer than usual which is better than sitting dozing. I have also tried Laurel and Hardy but he took some of it seriously so only look at that sparingly. I guess it’s finding what presses the right buttons.
     
  14. Roseleigh

    Roseleigh Registered User

    Dec 26, 2016
    183
    Its very hard to find suitable TV. He still likes football, though has lost interest in other sport he used to love, will also watch some wildlife stuff David Attenborough and so on, and doesnt mind Mrs Browns Boys which he thought idiotic before dementia .

    Maybe we should start a thread of TV program ideas?
     
  15. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,400
    East of England
    He cannot concentrate on sports, will watch wildlife in short bursts. He concentrated on those children’s programmes far more than when he goes up and down, in and out to see what I am watching in the evenings, sitting down asking questions, talking to the programme and generally interrupting before up he goes again. His intention is to go to bed but he can’t settle, it’s the good old sundowning, checking doors, windows, up and down, trying to come into my room for ages. At least he is not nasty or aggressive, that’s me!
     
  16. Roseleigh

    Roseleigh Registered User

    Dec 26, 2016
    183
    it’s the good old sundowning, checking doors, windows,

    Interesting , mine has stopped the 'checking' but before we suspected he had dementia for a few years he became obsessive about pre- bed checks! We thought it was OCD but now I think it was early signs.
     
  17. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,141
    Creature Comforts, aardman animation did a set of adverts with animals discussing energy prices etc. Later a DVD was brought out. Hilarious normal adult conversations, short & characterised by the amazing Wallace & Gromit / Shaun the sheep team.
     
  18. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    104
     
  19. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,578
    Kent
    My husband loved DVDs of Dad`s Army and Only Fools and Horses.
     
  20. Linton

    Linton Registered User

    Jul 27, 2019
    104
    Yep. Only fools and horses is another great stand by to keep my OH happy.. Avoid at all cost.. The news... But that's just me!!!!!
     

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