I am the same. I feel guilty but I can't help it, it's arms length only for me now.Much as I have loved him I shrink at the thought because he is a different person now and the thought of physical intimacy horrifies me.
I am the same. I feel guilty but I can't help it, it's arms length only for me now.Much as I have loved him I shrink at the thought because he is a different person now and the thought of physical intimacy horrifies me.
I am relieved that I am not alone feeling like this.I am the same. I feel guilty but I can't help it, it's arms length only for me now.
Thank you Canary, I couldn’t have imagined this ever but it is so.No, definitely not alone
No you're not alone. I think our relationship changes with the onset of the disease. It's more like an adult/child relationship rather than wife/husband. I love him just as I love my children but not in the way I loved him before.I am relieved that I am not alone feeling like this.
You should feel no guilt. Nobody should even in a marriage if you dont feel desire.I can also relate to the sex thing.I feel bad, awful, but he won't wash and well, that's not the only thing. I just don't want to because he just isn't him anymore and he wants sex - not me.
Sweetheart, I am with you all the way. I know, I really do. Keith seemed to become a boy again with a sweet face and a Mick Jagger thin body that was so poignant. The emotions the business puts us through, all my love, Geraldine.The carer came today and he was like putty in her hands, showered, shaved, clean clothes and ate all his lunch, she proudly told me. I didn’t mind because I had two hours of not having to do it all for him myself. He has the habit of wiping his hands down his trousers, so after having a chocolate biscuit, his lovely clean trousers have chocolate marks down the front, even with a napkin on his lap. I really dislike the new person that is my husband, I really do not like this different man. But when I left him with her while I went to the shop, I felt a great wave of anguish at the thought of his sweet helpless face as I said I was going out as they started with his shower, his skeletal body trembling with effort.
and to you, sweetheart. GXxxx@kindred..Hi .that description fits my husband to a tea ((wry smile ))...and yes emotions are all over the place.
@Grahamstown ...I'm glad you managed to have some time to yourself.
(((((((hugs both ))))) A x
Indeed.It’s terrible isn’t it @kindred such anguish is so hard to bear, all these proud men and women reduced to what? Perhaps looking after them is a privilege, reminding us of our humanity and dependence on each other. There are worse fates although this is pretty close to the it. It doesn’t end when they are gone either, always that memory and when I say that I think at least they are spared that knowledge when memory is gone.
Sorry, that sent itself before.i was finished.It’s terrible isn’t it @kindred such anguish is so hard to bear, all these proud men and women reduced to what? Perhaps looking after them is a privilege, reminding us of our humanity and dependence on each other. There are worse fates although this is pretty close to the it. It doesn’t end when they are gone either, always that memory and when I say that I think at least they are spared that knowledge when memory is gone.
That is something to hold on to thank you G. Both our husbands have gone from the heights of their powers to the lows of the end of life and you are right, that’s waiting for all of us, and theirs just happened to be loss of brain power.REmember the time in the sun