And so it begins.....

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Kikki21

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Feb 27, 2016
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East Midlands
My mum was sleeping peacefully but then awoke to horrendous coughing which was clearly hurting her. I was thinking that any minute, she will just peg out.
She wanted me to hold her hand, bless her & then she told me she was scared.
Am completely broken by this. I asked the nurse for more pain relief & morphine should help but they have to mix the meds & this takes time.

Then as my mum was so scared, I asked if we could call the Polish priest in again & he is coming shortly. She wanted him to come too.
 

Moose1966

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Feb 10, 2017
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Staffordshire
My mum was sleeping peacefully but then awoke to horrendous coughing which was clearly hurting her. I was thinking that any minute, she will just peg out.
She wanted me to hold her hand, bless her & then she told me she was scared.
Am completely broken by this. I asked the nurse for more pain relief & morphine should help but they have to mix the meds & this takes time.

Then as my mum was so scared, I asked if we could call the Polish priest in again & he is coming shortly. She wanted him to come too.
(((((((((((❤️))))))))))
 

Kikki21

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Feb 27, 2016
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East Midlands
Thinking of you xx

Thank you xx
Things have settled down now she has had the extra morphine. I don’t want to go through that again. Single most horrendous moment of my life ever.
I just want my mum to be calm & not to be scared.
She is asleep now. Thankfully. My fiancé is on his way back & I have a cup of tea on order. Shame they don’t have any vodka! Xx
 

Kikki21

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Feb 27, 2016
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East Midlands
My mum is clearly agitated. In between bouts of sleeping, she is woken up by coughing & really struggling, grimacing, groaning. It is so unsettling & also not very good for other patients & visitors to see.
I don’t know what is causing this. Likely it is her chest but she is grabbing at her bedclothes & nightdress. It is just horrendous. I daren’t go home for a break until she is more settled & I definitely need a break after all of this today.

In need of alcohol & chocolate xx
 

Rolypoly

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Jan 15, 2018
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It’s not nice seeing them scared or in distress especially when we can’t do much if anything to ease it. I hope she settles soon and is more peaceful.

The alcohol might have to wait but I would add chocolate to your next tea order.
 

Kikki21

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Feb 27, 2016
2,270
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East Midlands
It’s not nice seeing them scared or in distress especially when we can’t do much if anything to ease it. I hope she settles soon and is more peaceful.

The alcohol might have to wait but I would add chocolate to your next tea order.

My mum had been sleeping but awoke coughing just on cue for the nurse to see it & see what we meant. They decided to change her position in bed to see if it would help so she got a bit more settled so I told her that we needed to go back home & eat some food which is true but I also need a time out break because witnessing my mum like that today has been really awful & not done my anxiety levels much good.
 

CaringDaughter

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Sep 22, 2013
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You poor lass - big hug. Try to stay strong for as long as she needs you, and remember there are people out here thinking of you x
 

Kikki21

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Feb 27, 2016
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East Midlands
You poor lass - big hug. Try to stay strong for as long as she needs you, and remember there are people out here thinking of you x

Thank you. I’m trying to stay strong for her. I’m taking quite a lot of Rescue Remedy which does help. I am now at home but I feel very anxious about my mum & I can’t relax properly even though that is what I have come home to do. We will go back after we have had some dinner. My fiancé is cooking something. My head is shot to pieces & I can’t really concentrate on anything. X
 

Whitey2000

Registered User
Oct 19, 2018
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Thank you. I’m trying to stay strong for her. I’m taking quite a lot of Rescue Remedy which does help. I am now at home but I feel very anxious about my mum & I can’t relax properly even though that is what I have come home to do. We will go back after we have had some dinner. My fiancé is cooking something. My head is shot to pieces & I can’t really concentrate on anything. X

Totally understand, have been through the same. Although losing mom is awful, I know she is at rest now or possibly nagging dad. Hope your mom is at peace soon xx
 

Kikki21

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Feb 27, 2016
2,270
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East Midlands
Totally understand, have been through the same. Although losing mom is awful, I know she is at rest now or possibly nagging dad. Hope your mom is at peace soon xx

Thank you @Whitey2000 i’m so sorry about your mum as I said on your thread. I just don’t understand why my mum is fighting so hard. I thought the syringe driver would help her drift into unconsciousness but it hasn’t as yet. I have no experience of this & I would never want to repeat it xx
 

Whitey2000

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Oct 19, 2018
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Thank you @Whitey2000 i’m so sorry about your mum as I said on your thread. I just don’t understand why my mum is fighting so hard. I thought the syringe driver would help her drift into unconsciousness but it hasn’t as yet. I have no experience of this & I would never want to repeat it xx
That's exactly what we were saying 2 days ago, she was fighting so hard, and before we visited last night it was the same according to the staff on the ward, and a few hours later she was gone. Nurse said that happens close to the end sometimes. Like you, I had no experience of it either. Wishing you and your mom peace x
 

Karen22

Registered User
Nov 3, 2012
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Thank you @Whitey2000 i’m so sorry about your mum as I said on your thread. I just don’t understand why my mum is fighting so hard. I thought the syringe driver would help her drift into unconsciousness but it hasn’t as yet. I have no experience of this & I would never want to repeat it xx
Thinking of you at this very difficult time.
Karen x
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
That's exactly what we were saying 2 days ago, she was fighting so hard, and before we visited last night it was the same according to the staff on the ward, and a few hours later she was gone. Nurse said that happens close to the end sometimes. Like you, I had no experience of it either. Wishing you and your mom peace x

I know it is the right thing for my mum. I know that if she survived this fight then it would be the same situation again in a few days/weeks/months time but I still think oh god should she have had one more day on the antibiotics, would that one extra day made all the difference but inside I know that it wouldn’t.
She had been on antibiotics since she was admitted to hospital & they had made no difference to her plus they probably didn’t help her awful sickness. At least the syringe driver has helped that. If only the meds can sort this horrible coughing & what comes with it. I’m about to go to the hospital for a couple of hours again x
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Thankfully my mum is more settled now although we have had some coughing bouts but she has some moments of agitation & then settles down again. I do think that something is going on internally as regards these incidents. She has now asked for more pain relief.
Noticed that she has a bit more purple mottling in her fingers on her right hand. Xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
I’m home again now as I have to admit today’s events have left me shattered & I have to rest as well. We left my mum peaceful after an extra shot of morphine & my favourite staff nurse, Chloe is on duty tonight. I’m happy to leave my mum in her care. She knows her well now & she said that if I’m awake worrying about my mum to give her a call for an update. She really is an angel. I don’t know how these nurses do it x
 
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